


A Spot of Bother! OutsideXbox DnD Novelization

by Outsidexboxscribe



Category: Dungeons and Dragons - Fandom, OutsideXbox, Oxventure, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: F/M, Mostly Action/Comedy, Novelization, Occasional Feels
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-09
Updated: 2019-01-19
Packaged: 2019-05-04 15:18:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 24,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14595867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Outsidexboxscribe/pseuds/Outsidexboxscribe
Summary: Our lovable British heros have returned from fighting an evil gnome (seriously) But now they are forced to put their trust in each other to the test, confront deep seeded feelings, and oh yeah, fight undead pirates.





	1. Prologue

The walk back towards the town was long. When it comes to long tedious things like walking, your mind tends to wander. The strange group of heros wondered to themselves a great many things as civilization drew closer.

Prudence's mind was adrift with the images of the guards she annihilated with her Eldrich Blast, which had already earned her respect amongst the others. Or prehaps that was fear, no matter, they were the same thing to Prudence. Her crimson skin was glowing a lighter shade of red in the happy sunshine, making it look a little less like blood then usual. She wasn't sure how to feel about that. Just like she wasn't sure about that pirate, every time she looked back at him she got a funny feeling, like when she went more then a week without making a sacrifice to Cuthulu. She brushed the thought aside by letting the haunting yellow energy of her Eldrich Blast dance between her fingers. This finally made her speak.

As Prudence had begun to speak in her deceiving cheery voice, telling the crew about how much she had enjoyed annihilating her foes. Dob was absentmindly strumming notes on his lute, he knew the others were still getting used to the sight of him. Admittedly, no one would expect a half orc to be the group musician. Of course, no one expected the boy who had been all but dead on a mountain would survive to become a hero, so there was that. A trace of "Boom Boom Boom" began to escape his lute as he smiled and wonder what his sister would say to him.

Merilwin wore a very neutral expression, but inside she was doing a mental dance. Her bow and quiver were slung over her shoulder and her laurel wreath bounced along with her braids as he glanced around at the rest of the team like an curious child. Despite her solitary nature, and her usual discomfort around people, she felt so pleased about being able to help. She thought about all the animals who would be proud of her for keeping the natural world in balance.

Corazon De Leon was flipping a gold coin while staring ahead. The rest of group was walking in front of them, most likely trying to block out Prudence as she recounted how the most recent battle had reminded her of the slaughter of Duros. While they all seemed deep in thought, they also seemed content with the current situation. Corazon's disposition was certainly not content, how could they possibly let all of the gold escape their clutches!? One thing was for. sure, once they had collected all of the reward money, he was going solo again. Sure, the group seemed nice if unprofessional and slightly demonic, but he had money to plunder and that was something he did alone. But just as Corazon arrived in town, and the group began to split up and start curing people, he felt a strange tinkle on his neck. As if he was being lightly pricked by a tiny lightning rod. It wasn't what he thought it was...right?


	2. A pint, a Message, and a Call to Arms

Prudence sat at the table along with everyone else, glancing down occasionally into her flagon of Severed Head Ale. She watched as the red liquid rotated slowly around, while her reflection remained completely motionless. It was the kind of drink that would put most men under in a matter of seconds, but Prudence had barely noticed any effect at all. She was too busy recounting the adventure with the others.

"To the spicy rat caper!" She said with a smirk as everyone toasted and raised their flagons (Merilwen needed to hold hers with both hands) Beverages were consumed, and more laughs were had. At one point, a pot bellied, middle aged tavern goer gave Prudence a little wink. She responded by pulling out her sacrificial knife and twirling it around in her hand. Suddenly the man seemed more interested in his meal, which was fine by Prudence.

"I couldn't believe how spicy that rat was." Corazon said before taking another swig, now looking a bit more comfortable with the group, having alcohol in his procession probably helped matters. "Then remember when Prudence murdered that guy?"

"That was a good one." Prudence deadpanned as she looked around. They were currently drinking at The Bawdy Flamingo, which was a shady joint no doubt, but she also recalled being in far worse places (and having to kill the patrons of many of them)

Dob continued the conversation as he glanced down at Merilwen, who's tiny stature made him look even more massive than he already was. "Oh Merilwen, the look on your face after you realized we'd torched all those guards that were tied up, classic!"

"Classic Merilwen." Prudence added as she chuckled at how suddenly uncomfortable they had made the small wood elf. Merilwen slowly sunk into her seat as she blushed heavily. Clearly the girl was but a novice killer, Prudence would have to keep that in mind.

Corazon took this moment to go up to the bar, which was tended by a pig like creature missing an eye. Suddenly, Prudence noticed a small child scamper her way past the bar patrons and go straight to Corazon. She was dressed in filthy rags, with no shoes to speak of, and was wearing a beat up cap. The girl's hand reached into a little purse slung on her side, and she pulled out a folded up piece of paper. Before Prudence could see more however, she felt a light tug on her shirt.

Merilwen was trying to get her attention, her usual mask of calm was now replaced by concern. "He's watching us." The wood elf whispered to Prudence.

"Who?" Prudence started looking around the bar, no seemed to notice them, let alone be staring at them.

Merilwen pointed to the far back corner of the bar. "Over there, do you see him? He's the bloke in brown." Prudence scanned the back corner, and her eyes narrowed.

Sure enough, there was a rather large looking man (at least she guessed it was a man) wearing clean brown robes over his chain mail armor, though his hood was up. Because it was so far from where they were sitting, Prudence couldn't make out anything about what the person looked like underneath the hood. The only thing that she could tell was that Merilwen was right, he was definitely looking at them.

Her attention was then averted again when she heard Corazon audibly gasp. "Oh god it's the black spot." He put a hand over his mouth, and Prudence watched as the color rapidly drained away. He was so stunned that the barkeep had to growl (oink?) at him to pay for the drinks he had bought for the gang. Corazon shook his head, grabbed the drinks, and walked back to the table where everyone was staring at him. After he realized this, he attempted to regain his cool, devil may care attitude, passing drinks around and flashing a goofy grin, but everyone could tell that his heart simply wasn't in it.

"What's that?" Dob asked.

"What is it?" Prudence added, just for good measure.

"Ah, uh, nothing. I think it's just, they spilled some ink on this bit of paper, nothing to worry about. Uh-who wanted ale?" Corazon finally managed to sputtered out.

"Me!" Dob yelled almost instinctively, before calming down.

"Me." Prudence replied, while she rapped her fingers on the table, thinking hard.

Prudence exchanged a concerned look with Dob, his eyes, usually filled with bright untamed creativity, were now darker and more focused. His fingers had stopped tapping and occasionally strumming the lute, which was also unusual for him. Or so Prudence guessed.

"Well that seems mysterious Dob." Prudence said while she pulled out a large brown book from her satchel. It was bound by a tiny skull shaped locked (or maybe it was the actual skull of a fairy, Prudence honestly couldn't remember)

"Yeah, why's he freaking out?"

"It's just a black spot I mean..." She trailed off as the book opened up, and she began trying to find an entry regarding black spots and pirates.

Just as she began to flip through the pages however, looking for the right section: black bear, black betty, black background. Dob clasped her on the shoulder and leaned in close.

"Does he not like kids or something?" He asked her feverishly, this sudden moved jarred the book from her hands, she couldn't keep a grip, and it flew out of her grasp. Landing with a thud onto the filthy bar floor, which was coated thick with dried alcohol, sweat, and possibly pigs blood.

Prudence wheeled around and gave Dob an unforgettable glare, "Hey! Music man! How about you watch what in Cthulhu's name you're doing?" She barked at him, perhaps a bit more harsh than was necessary, but this seemed serious. Whatever she thought about Corazon (which wasn't much) nothing ever seemed to faze him in the slightest, even the life and death situations they had already encountered. The sight of this black spot however, had turned his face white, and he was now nervously playing with the collar of his excessively ruffled shirt. With her book on the floor, and since removing it from said floor would likely require a lot of strength because how sticky it was, she had to go on memory.

What kind of message could a pirate like Corazon receive that would scare him? What message would require only a black dot? Then it suddenly hit her like the time she tested to see if she could Eldritch blast herself (she could) His terrified expression obviously meant that he had been invited to a secret pirate party! It also made sense as she pictured it, a bunch of scraggly looking men dancing around a massive bonfire in various states of undress, drinking a stupid amount of alcohol, and surrounded by captured treasure. He was also obviously worried about looking bad in front of his fellow pirates. It was actually kinda cute, except Prudence didn't trust him, so it obviously wasn't cute, at all.

With this new information, Prudence straight up asked the now glum looking Corazon de Leon: "Does that mean a bunch of pirates are coming over here to throw a party?"

The pirate looked at her, but not really, it was more like he looked through her, his eyes were definitely far away. Then he shook his head, which sent Dob into a state of visible distress. Corazon looked around and spoke, without the usual salesman pitch tone that Prudence had gotten sick of about seven seconds after she had met him. "No, no it doesn't mean there's a party happening, it means a bunch of pirates are going to come here and kill me." He ended with a sigh.

"What are you going to do man?" Dob asked, now looking on the edge of panic. He was no nervously strumming something that sounded like 'Flight of the Bumblebee' on his lute.

"Yeah what are YOU going to do?" Prudence added coldly.

"I mean we're party right guys, you guys have got my back?"

The table was completely silent and still, everyone seemed to be processing it in their own way. Even Merilwen, who Prudence thought might turn Corazon into a pine tree or something equally painful after the whole chicken kicking incident, looked completely and utterly devastated.

Eventually, Dob broke the uncomfortable silence. "I mean we'll help out, but...why are they, why are, why are they trying to kill you?"

This was when Corazon's eyes became suddenly shifty, and Prudence subtly activated her internal bullshit detector. "Well..it's a long story, I don't want to get into it right now.."

Dob leaned a little closer, now his lute had stopped playing. That serious look had come back again, that focus. "Well I'd like to know what I'm fighting for."

He glanced over at her, and she replied by just twirling her finger forward. Go on pirate. "Uh-they are just bad pirates, and I was too good of a pirate. I wanted to give our treasure to the poor, and they wanted to keep it for themselves to spend on, um, the arms trade."

Prudence may of believed such a story if she was a small teethling child, back when she assumed it was completely normal for a foster parent to give you a name like Prudence because he thought it was funny for a teethling. But now, despite how she hadn't known Corazon for long at all, this was obviously a lie.

Even Corazon himself knew how bad this lie was judging by his wry, apologetic smile after he finished speaking. Then by his "at least I tried" shrug following that.

Just as Prudence was about to respond with something both witty and intimidating, there was another tug on her shirt from Merilwen. She snapped her head back towards the wood elf, who with eyes bigger than Prudence thought possible on a humanoid, slowly pointed one of her small trembling fingers across the room. It took a second, but Prudence looked back across the bar. The cloaked figure was no longer sitting in a booth in the corner of the dank room, they were striding over towards their table. Pulling a chair behind them to boot, making an irritating squeaking sound."

But before she could even consider blowing the hidden figure in an array, of small, medium, and large chunks of flesh with her Eldritch blast, the figure threw of its hood off. Wheeled that chair around, and took a seat at the table.

"Hi, I'm Egbert the careless!"

Well things just got stranger and Prudence had seen some pretty strange things in her time. Egbert was, as she had guessed a male, but that's where her predictions became less accurate. Egbert wasn't human at all, in fact he wasn't even a humanoid like herself. Instead, he was a six foot tall dragon man, his scales were yellow, almost like shining gold. His brown tunic was in fact the cloak of a member of the Dragondaw, a mysterious organization of dragon warriors. The last time she had seen one was during her attempted assassination of the entire Duros assembly (long story) she didn't think she would ever see any around here.

Dob beamed at the stranger. "Egbert, happy to know you buddy!" He proved this statement true by sliding him a flagon of ale over and toasting with him. Perhaps he was pleased to meet someone who he could have competitive arm wrestling matches with.

Corazon scowled, leaned back in his chair, and crossed his arms. "Egbert this was kind of a private conversation."

"I heard you were in a...spot of bother, and these guys didn't seem super committed to helping you out." The Dragon replied, seeming to only be half joking, with an impressive combination of professionalism and relatability. He eyed all of the others sitting at the table, like he was daring them to disagree.

"Cause of your black spot." Dob added helpfully.

"The black spot is no laughing matter Egbert." Corazon looked like he was trying to ignore the bard the best he could. "But I mean, I am in trouble, any help you could offer..." he trailed off before nodding.

Egbert took a swig of ale and scratched his head, probably weighing some things. "Well listen, I was just wandering around, looking for absolution, and I thought this might be a good candidate for potential absolution. They weren't super specific on how I was to absolve myself, so this is as good an offer as I got, so I'd thought and help you guys out." Then he beamed at the rest of the group, like he was waiting to be voted in.

"Where do you hail from buddy?" Dob asked while he leaned back and plucked a chip from a different table. Merilwen giggled, but as usual, she was simply observing from the sidelines.

"Well I kinda grew up as a stable boy, I wasn't always a dragon with a sort of golden sheen, as depicting my lineage. But you know, I was taken in by the noble order of the Dragondaw, it was after a particularly attritional battle with the godless heathens, and they're a paladin sect-"

"Is there gonna be a lot of religion stuff?" Corazon cut in, and for once Prudence was glad. She had gone through some rough experiences with holy organizations, calling her "demonic" and "a threat to all that is good in the world" bunch of twats the lot of them.

"I mean, I think everyone could do with some religion in their life, some meaning, some-"

"Are you here to sell of pamphlets or books?" It was Dob who cut in this time, though he was definitely sounding more curious than irritated.

Egbert was silent for a long time, clearly that large bag next to his chair had more than weapons and extra chainmail, somehow, he seemed as if he was blushing.

"Look I've been trying to work them on the nature thing, and even that's difficult." Prudence was surprised that Merilwen had broken the silence, she straightened up and leaned in a bit to talk to Egbert. Maybe since he was closer to an animal he was easier to talk to?

"I know right? I mean you're hanging out with a demon." Egbert replied with a very toothy smile to Merilwen. Prudence thought about this statement, but let it slide, he wasn't really wrong at all.

The Dragon continued. "Anyway, I thought I would help out however I can, I've mastered my gift, and taken on some of the attributes of a dragon."

Corazon rapped his fingers and then shook Egbert's hand. "I mean, yeah, I appreciate your offer stranger, that's very kind of you. I'd say, don't panic just yet, and let's get another drink in, and see how things pans out."

The group sat for a while, drinking more ale in virtual silence. Dob continued to take more chips from the next table, and the patrons of said table seemed too scared to complain about it. Prudence was glad, she didn't feel like spilling blood in here, though she had a sneaking suspicion that it was going to happen today anyway.

"Hey Corazon, how long do you reckon we got until those pirates get to where we are?" Merilwen asked, pausing from her small talk with Egbert.

"I'd say like six hours." Corazon answered.

"So what should we-" Merilwen stopped talking as Corazon gestured for her to quiet down, before stroking his beard. Then he sat up and leaned into the table.

"A bunch of pirates are going to be here in six hours, should we be here in six hours? I thinking no. I mean, this is something I deal with periodically. I ran away last time, and they didn't find me." His voice had no fear now, he was turning back to the old Corazon.

"Aren't you tired of running?" Dob questioned, though he had a chip in his mouth, so Prudence wasn't 100% sure.

Corazon waited, before nodding slowly. "To be honest, I've got like three or four of these black spots. Honestly, it's a real hassle."

"Do they stack?" Prudence asked, which prompted Merilwen to chuckle. Prudence didn't see what was so funny, she was genuinely curious. If you had more than one black spot, would they make sure you were extra dead?

"Maybe that previous high profile job, where you were turning animals back to people, got them back on your sent." Egbert suggested.

"Yeah, the town cryer was shouting about it, I probably shouldn't of given him my real full name." Corazon said sadly.

"You wouldn't give the child your full name!" Egbert almost screamed at the pirate's face.

"I just wanted to be in town criers shouting."

"I'd like to finish my drink, otherwise, we should probably hightail it." Egbert then took another sip of his drink. The table began to erupt into more questions.

"How killable are they, on a scale of not to ten?" Prudence asked

"How many are there do you think?" Dob asked over her own voice.

Corazon put his hands up again, wanting quiet. He rubbed them on his temples with a sigh. "I should probably lay some things down, the pirates that are here to kill us, all of us, are-"

"Wait what?" Prudence nearly blasted him on the spot, she had NO CHOICE but be a part of this?

"They'll know about you guys now, you're all in it now." Corazon tried to calmly explain why they were destined to die themselves now. Before shaking his head, and continuing his confession.

"They are, to an extent human...there's a curse."

Prudence facepalmed. "Oh I see." A curse, why did everything involving pirates have to have a curse with it?

"They can't be killed, but they can be defeated."

"For how long," Dob had swallowed his chip, now looking more concerned, undead pirates had a way of doing that.

"For two years, then they come back, so I have had this fight before."

Dob shook his head, and began to pick at his lute, while keeping his dark eyes on Corazon. "I'm not saying that I'm not up for this, but you are asking an awful lot of us, without giving much information."

"I've never even been on the ocean, and now I've got pirate skeletons after me." Merilwen sounded more annoyed then anything.

"They're not skeletons. They're just really terribly cursed pirates." Corazon corrected, how helpful, at least they'll be nice to look at. Dob suddenly stood up, and slung his lute over his back, his rapier gleamed at his side. Prudence began to realize how much he could look like a proper hero if he worked a little.

"Here's an idea, why don't we not stand our ground, but also not run. We've got six hours right? Why don't we try an find them in that time, catch them off guard, hit them where they are now."

"Ooooh, that's good." Prudence said, standing up with Dob.

"We'd need to track them somehow, I don't have any ideas."

Corazon began to smile, nodding to himself. Like he was in his element all a sudden. "I'd presume they're coming into port, they'll arriving on a ship."

"So why don't we go scope out the harbor?" Dob offered his hand for Corazon to get up.

Corazon broke into a goofy grin, and he grabbed Dob's hand to pull himself straight up. "See if they're expecting any boats to turn up."

All of the other party members stood up. Looking very determined indeed, Prudence nodded in satisfaction. This wasn't the worst group to go to war with. Egbert handed Dob a pamphlet and began to speak about his life's work as they walked out the door, Corazon held the door open, looking around the bar as if in a pose, before leaving himself. Prudence then strutted over to the bartender, and tossed some coins as a tip. Merilwen followed, looking excited and scared at the same time.

"Do you think we'll make it out of this alright Prudence?"

"Of course, except maybe Corazon."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because if he's not telling the truth about those guys, or what we're walking into, it won't be the pirates who kill him."

Merilwen audibly gulped as she followed her crimson ally out the door, no one in the bar had seemed to notice the seriousness of the discussion that had taken place not a few moments before, but everyone at that table knew. Things were going to get messy, and they were going to need to decide how much their new friend meant to them.


	3. My Kingdom for a Harbor

Dob would have been happy about how beautiful it was outside, if the groups disposition had matched the weather. Going to take on a bunch of cursed pirates who were out to kill your new friend, that didn’t seem like something to do on a sunny day. When Dob thought about sunny days, he thought about going into town squares and playing the lute from dawn to dusk. Watching all of the children run around, the vendors selling food, the best of society manifesting itself right in front of him. Of course that would always bring him back to his sister, and their little cabin in the mountains. Her singing to him with a voice as bright as the sunshine on her face. Then, after he begged and begged, she would sing that song he loved-

“Dob?” Prudence asked him. Everything came back to focus as he realized the group had started moving again. “You with us Dob?” Dob nodded and the group began to walk again. 

His flimsy leather shoes squished uncomfortably against the old cobblestone road they were headed down. Everyone’s heads were craning around trying to look past the various buildings, looking for an opening where they could begin to head towards the sea. Instead, it felt as if the street was getting more and more narrow. Like they were slowly being crushed by shops, selling everything from clock parts, to fresh fruit, to steam powered chainsaws.

“Hey, um Corazon, I thought you said it wouldn’t take a minute to find the harbor?” Dob asked nervously looking around, the shop owners were giving them the eye, like they were expecting to be robbed. Dob couldn’t blame them, this group certainly didn’t look like traveling salesmen. They looked like five misfits, all heavily armed and dangerous.

“These maps are bloody impossible to figure out, it’s like they let a blind man walk around the town and then chart it all on his own. But don’t worry guys, I think we’re close to getting out of here anyway, you’re all very lucky that my navigational skills are on point.” Corazon replied before he nearly ran into a lamppost.

“Yeah, that’s why we’ve been walking around the shopping district for twenty minutes.” Prudence spit back bitterly. 

Meanwhile, Merilwen was hanging out in the back of the group talking to Egbert, asking him questions about what animals he had encountered in his travels. “Were there are really fluffy and cute ones?” She asked not unlike a small child.

Egbert was answering the best he could, though it was obvious that he was beginning to wonder himself why they weren’t staring at ocean yet. “Well to be perfectly honest, by the time I saw most of them, it was when they were being grilled for the troops.” He said in a far off and distracted voice. Merilwen began to slowly process this information in silence. The streets were quiet once again, except for their feet stepping on cobblestone.

Before Dob could think of a way to cheer her up, the group stopped walking. Everyone could almost feel Prudence speak before they could hear it. “Admit it, you’re completely lost Corazon!” 

He wheeled around, and got right in her face. Looking almost as red as Prudence, while his hands tightly balled up. “Well you’re certainly not helping Prudence, why don’t you do something constructive instead of just complaining all the time?” 

“I wouldn’t be complaining if you weren’t completely inept at navigation, some pirate captain you must of been.” She let her words hang there for a second.

Corazon’s mouth twitched slightly, a nerve had clearly been stuck. “Shut. Up. You are the most unbearable person, I have ever been around.” 

“At least I’m not a lying, cheating, rude, arrogant prick, as well as a complete moron!” Prudence took a step closer. 

“Well at least I’m not a monster! You look like the villain from some children’s fairy tale! Of course it’s not like you act much better, what have you ever done besides kill people and laugh about it?” Corazon got even closer, the distance between them was a matter of inches.

“I’m the one trying to save YOUR ASS, YOU PIRATE SCUM!” She screamed, Dob stepped back a bit, he could feel the shouts piercing through him like a shockwave. 

There was a long, drawn out silence. Corazon looked down and swallowed weakly, and at that same moment Prudence’s own expression seemed to soften slightly. 

Dob was certainly glad that this confrontation was happening in this part of town. All of the shops were long since left vacant, in fact there didn’t to seem be anyone around here at all. The harsh words exchanged simply bounced around the abandoned shopfronts, slowly disappearing until there was nothing but Corazon and Prudence’s heavy breathing. 

Corazon’s eyes settled on his feet. “Look, Prudence-“ SNAP! Corazon pulled out his crossbow and shot it seemingly at random into the closest dark alleyway. Out of the alley, a body slumped down into the street. A single arrow impaled in his forehead, he was holding a full sized crossbow, meant for long range assassinations. Dob pulled out his rapier, and he heard other weapons being drawn behind him.

“Don’t worry guys, it’s over.” Corazon said calmly. Dob stared as the pirate held his crossbow in one hand, and an arrow in the other. 

He was holding the arrow only inches from Prudence’s head. 

“D-did you, just catch that arrow?” Merilwen asked shakily, her bow drawn. 

The arrow fell out of his hand and onto the street, it’s metal tip making a tiny clang as it hit. “Yeah, I guess I did.” There was no sense of pride his voice, no bravado.

“Cool.” Egbert added.

Prudence stared at the arrow on the ground, as if imagining it stuck in her forehead. Then she slowly turned her head back towards the man who saved her. He mustered a weak smile, as she remained shocked, before a scowl took over her face once again. 

“If only your map reading ability matched your arrow catching skills.” She sniped as she began to walk away from Corazon. However, it was clear that the situation had been at least partially defused.

After a few seconds Dob cleared his throat and brought the group back together. “So, anyone know how we can find the harbor?” For a few seconds there were no ideas forthcoming.

Merilwen stepped up, her eyes gleaming. “I think I’ve got a decent idea.”

Dob nodded, along with rest of group, even if no one was quite sure what expertise a wood elf could bring to navigating an urban environment. “Just try and make it quick, I’m not interested in meeting any more robbers.” Egbert said.

Merilwen knelt down, and slowly closed her eyes. Her small hands rested on the hard, cracked cobblestone, the air suddenly had a stillness to it, like Merilwen had sucked the wind out of the sky. Suddenly, her eyes shot open and Merilwen nearly face planted on the street before catching herself with her elbows. She looked around with a bewildered expression for a few seconds, face drained of all color. Though eventually, the wood elf rose to her feet, albeit shakily. 

“The harbor is just straight that way.” Merilwen said, a thin finger pointed towards the street going west, past Joseph’s Crustacean Deckhouse. Without checking what the group thought, she started to march in that direction. Everyone else hesitantly followed her. 

While Dob wasn’t sure he wanted to know the answer, he carefully asked Merilwen: “So, how did you what direction the harbor was?” Merilwen didn’t look back as her braid bounced on her shoulders, and her hands were balled up. “I could hear the screaming.” She replied coldly, sounding a lot less youthful then Dob had become used to. No one was interested in figuring out what she meant.

After what seemed like an eternity of walking passed, Dob watched as abandoned storefront after storefront came and went by him. However, everyone could tell that they were getting closer to the harbor. The abandoned stores began to be open ones, crowds of people were milling around, and then the smell hit. Burning tar, seawater, rope burns, cuts of mystery meat being grilled out in the open, and fish, lots of fish. They could smell the harbor despite not even being there yet.

Instantly everyone nose wrinkled (aside from Corazon) as they neared the area where the market opened up, and docks came into view. Dob had never seen anything like it, thousands of people jostled past each other while impossibly massive ships loomed in the water. There were sails that stretched more than a hundred feet in the air, liners that could fit several villages worth of people on them, and thousands of tons of cargo sitting on the dock waiting to be moved. Hundreds of tiny little dinghies scurried to and from their mother ships. Everything about this place just said: BIG. Dob was truly amazed.

Prudence was truly unmoved. “So, where do you think this harbormaster is?” She asked while her eyes shifted around at an almost uncanny speed. 

“On a dock I reckon!” Egbert shouted out, smiling hopefully. Everyone turned to him with a confused look. Merilwen cleared her throat and shifted awkwardly. “Um Egbert, everything around us is a dock.” Egbert’s smile faded, and he looked down, embarrassed. 

There was an uncomfortable pause, before Corazon clasped his hands together and smiled. “Right. I say we should fan out and search for our man, and then come back together to bargain with him.” Everyone nodded, and Corazon continued. “I say if someone spots him, we give a signal, like cry of an eagle.” He then proceeded to make a sound that sounded like nothing even close to an eagle. 

Prudence raised an eyebrow and turned around. “I’m not doing that.” The she melted into the crowd of people, with Merilwen and Egbert following her example. This left Dob and Corazon staring at each other, before Dob shrugged and wandered off in search for the harbormaster, Corazon took another second to move himself.

With that Dob began to wander, brushing shoulders with countless busybodies, he wondered how many of them were trying to save a friend from death. Of course, Prudence certainly wouldn’t consider Corazon a friend. It sucked, seeing his team with such a massive rift. 

Dob shook his head, team. He had barely known these people and yet he felt an almost familial connection. There he was, being so trusting. His sister would often discipline him for his habit of waving to every hunter and traveling salesmen that passed by their cabin. “Dì dì, you need to understand that sometimes in life there are bad people that cannot be trusted.” She would say. When he was young, this was perhaps the only thing he ever disagreed with his sister on. Everyone could be good if you just gave them time, he thought. After he was forced to fend for himself, this belief was shaken, being surrounded by countless pickpockets and cruel state workers. However, Dob always maintained the belief that everyone could be good if just given a chance, this new group was no exception.

As these thoughts whirled around the Bard’s mind, he pulled out his lute and plucked a few simple notes, a nervous habit. Slowly, Dob began to play “We’re going to Ibiza” while he passed through the crowd, the music always helped calm him down. 

“Hey Dob,” Suddenly Merilwen was at his side, which caused the lute to almost fall out of Dob’s hand. He thought that Merilwen seemed like a kind person, but sometimes she scared him more then Prudence. This was mostly because of her tendency to stay quiet for so long that she melted into the shadows. Of course, the vague “I could the hear the screaming” comment was fairly unnerving in of itself. 

“Oh, hey Merilwen. Have any luck?” 

“Not quite, but I did want to show you something.” Without waiting for an answer she took Dob’s hand and pulled him into a clearing. Next to a dry dock. “Now, look down.” She almost commanded. Dob leaned his head over the railing, and stared down at the bottom nearly a hundred feet down.

He immediately wished he hadn’t.

The dry dock wasn’t completely dry, there were about six feet of water at the bottom. Submerged in that water were the most fish that Dob had ever seen. Tens of thousands of them were trapped in the water, there was barely any room for them to move, let alone swim freely. The water churned with the constant slapping of tails upon the water surface, giving it the look of some demented hot spring. It was an absolute mass of organic suffering.

Suffering. Screaming. I could hear the screaming. 

Dob turned over to Merilwen, she was standing there a few feet away, her darkened eyes were in a faraway place, moistened with pain. All while the wind blew hair in her face. It all made sense.

“This...t-this is what led you here, you could hear them?” Merilwen just nodded, pulling out an arrow from her quiver and examining it. 

“Every time I go to a new place, it’s like I become instantly attuned to their ecosystem. The entire animal kingdom top to down. I can feel everything, life, death, birth and rebirth, all of it perfectly balanced. All of it is as horrific and beautiful as nature is. But this......isn’t balanced, it’s not right.” Suddenly, Dob understood the weight that Merilwen was constantly carrying on her shoulders. 

“I’m sorry.” Was all Dob could muster, there just wasn’t a phrase that was right for this.

“It’s alright, I just wanted you to understand me, that’s all.” Then Merilwen put the arrow back and took a deep breath. “Alright, we should get moving-“ But before she could finish they were interrupted by a charging Egbert. 

“Guys we found him, we found the port master!” He cried excitedly. “Where were you guys?”

Merilwen looked at Dob and then smirked at Egbert. “Just tying up some loose ends, not a concern.” Then she bounded up to Egbert and gestured for him to lead the way. “Let’s see how we do at some proper negotiation.” 

Now it was Dob’s time to stand dumbfounded, how could she recover that quickly? One thing was for sure, his perception of the wood elf was changed dramatically. She was truly the strongest of all of them. 

Egbert led Merilwen and Dob back through the harbor, the many fish stands they passed had a new meaning. Eventually, they found Corazon and Prudence waiting in a square. They were about ten feet from one another with their arms crossed, it would’ve been funny to most, but Dob just found it sad. 

Dob strolled up to Corazon. “So, did you two find our man?” 

This prompted Corazon to scowl and narrow his eyes, despite his eyepatch (Why did he have that? His eyes were both fine.) “Pretty sure I was the one that found him.” 

Prudence looked like she wanted to refute that claim, but she instead ignored him. “He’s over there, rich looking guy.” Her arm shot out towards a man standing on top of some boxes. 

He was certain someone with important stature, his brown shirt was ruffled enough to rival Corazon and a fancy hat was hanging over the back of his head. There were seemingly dozens of ornate bracelets around his wrists, along with a few massive rings. All of these flashy fashion items were mostly likely attempting to distract onlookers from noticing his massive gut being held up with a powerful belt, one that seemed ready to snap at any minute due to strain. 

Corazon put his hands up, indicating for everyone else to step back. Then he addressed them, Dob was seriously hoping this didn’t end with another shouting match, that wouldn’t help them look good in front of the harbormaster. “Alright guys,” He was already attempting to sound like a badass. “I’ve dealt with a lot of harbormasters and the like in my pirating days, so just let me do all of the talking.” Dob felt a nudge in his ribs, when he looked over, he realized it was Prudence. What was she doing, smiling? Not just that, she looked like she was trying not to burst out laughing. 

“Yeah, I’m sure he had to negotiate where to dock his stolen fishing boat at some point.” Prudence whispered, this affected Dob more than he thought, because he began to crack up a bit too. Merilwen and Egbert nervously glanced over at them, staring as if the two of them had gone crazy, which wasn’t far from the truth. 

Corazon hadn’t even noticed, he was far too deep into his inspirational speech, though it seemed tailored for him more than anything. Speaking about the need for everyone to stay cool, persevere, and “get jiggy with it.” Everyone nodded like they understood anything the pirate had just said. 

Prudence pulled herself together finally. “Well get on with it then, we’ll be standing here for backup when something inevitably goes wrong.” She deadpanned. Corazon took the dig in stride and turned around, heading straight for a harbormaster on the boxes. 

The first thing that everyone noticed about the harbormaster was how he seemed to be yelling at everyone who was working beneath him, regardless of their job performance. “Get going you miserable fools! Faster! You there, no lollygagging.” Even to those who were practically running with their boxes, he made sure to remind them that they could be going faster and better. His belly shook with every shout. 

“Hi harbormaster.” Corazon said in a low, respectful tone. He made sure to avert his eyes, definitely not the same confidence he was projecting only moments go.

“Hello.” The harbormaster replied warmly, he now wore a smile on his face. Clearly he was in sales mode now.

Corazon followed the man’s example, smiling back, it didn’t look forced either. (Dob was sure that he had plenty of practice.) “I expect you have a pretty good overview of all the ships that are going to be coming into the harbor here.”

“I do, not a craft comes in here I don’t know about it.” The harbormaster awkwardly hopped off the crates to face Corazon.

“Ok good,” Dob could’ve sworn Corazon looked back for a second to wink. “Do you have any,-is there anything usual coming in today, any unusual ships that uh maybe just seemed odd when you learned about them.”

The harbormaster scratched his head, maybe wondering if he should bother entertaining someone who wasn’t going to bother buying anything. But he gave a straight answer.

“Hmmmm, ummm, it’s fairly normal if you ask me we’ve had uh merchants, tourists, adventures, pirates-“

“Woah woah woah, what pirates!? What boat, what ship? Sorry, ship is what we call it.” Corazon stammered out looking increasingly nervous.

“Ah you’re a seafaring man.” The harbormaster replied sarcastically, mocking Corazon like he was Prudence or something.

“Yeah I-I knew you would appreciate that little touch.” Dob was ready to intervene, but the harbormaster bailed him out.

“Well it was a little skif just tied up down there about eight lads, all came in....I assume they were in the business of doing a bit of carousing.” He told Corazon with a little shrug of the shoulders, like pirates came into the city to party all the time.

“My god.” Merilwen said quietly.

The harbormaster continued “They paid their tie up fee, and I said hello and they said aargh.”

Corazon looked worried and maybe a bit exhilarated, but he kept pressing. “Did you see which way they went for their carousing?” 

“Ummm, might of.” The harbormaster replied with a gleam in his eye.

“Oh.”

“Here we go.” Prudence said as she began to rub her hands hands together, she had most likely seen this play out a few times. How many times did those situations end with murder? Dob was guessing quite a few.

“I see how it is.”

Corazon scowled at the harbormaster, who continued to just stand there with a knowing look. Dob wondered if this was going to have to come to blows, he already had his lute handy. Then Corazon reluctantly fished through one of his pockets, and pulled out a bunch of coins. Without any thinking or even counting, he thrusted the coins in the direction of the harbormaster. “Perhaps this will jog your memory.”

The harbormaster greedily grabbed the coins and began to count them obsessively. His eyes began to widen, there was a definite gleam in them, and it didn’t look like it was from the gold pieces shining in the sun. “Yeah they went exactly that way.” He suddenly said, pulling the coins close to his chest. 

Dob suddenly realized it about the same time as everyone else, Corazon gave the harbormaster something like four times what was necessary. Whatever. 

“One of them said they were gonna go drinking in the boar’s tooth.” The harbormaster said as he rushed off, touting his new small fortune. The rest of the group went over to a local Joseph’s Crustacean Shack, took a table and sat down. For a while there weren’t any words, they now knew exactly where the pirates would be. A fight where Dob and his friends were outnumbered was staring them in the face. Merilwen chewed on her hair, Egbert was loudly grinding his teeth together, Corazon rapped his fingers on the table loudly, Prudence was silently brooding to herself with a harsh expression, all while Dob watched them. 

Corazon broke the silence, though it almost seemed like he was addressing himself. “Alright guys we know where they are, they’re in the boar's tooth, there’s eight of them-“ 

“Torch it from the outside.” Prudence suggested though she didn’t seem that serious, of course, who could tell? 

Dob turned to Corazon, leaning in a bit. “You don’t want to go in there right? Because they’re looking for you.”

Corazon nodded, pulling out his hand crossbow and adjusting the sights. “Maybe you guys could go in and see what’s going on, because every time I talk to these guys they're just not into it. I feel if I could just talk to them they would appreciate that things have been difficult recently but I’m trying to sort things out for them.”

“There is five of us, and we’re presumably quite intimidating. Are we intimidating enough that we’ll intimidate eight of them?” Egbert cut in, for once Dob was glad to hear it. It was going to be helpful having an actual soldier fighting alongside them.

“We might be, but it’s a risk.”

“I’m quite intimidating I feel.” Prudence said, still looking upset. Her eyes were dead set on Corazon, boreing into him. Then she smiled at Dob, like this was all funny to her.

Corazon looked down, feeling the gaze from Prudence weighing on him. “Should we head over there? I won’t go in but you guys can go in and see what the situation is.” 

“Wait wait wait wait, what’s our cover?” Merilwen said nervously, looking behind her occasionally for no real reason.

“We want to join their pirate crew.” Egbert suggested.

Prudence sat up. “Wait why do we need a cover? Aren’t we going to have to be direct about our mate Corazon?” She spit back sarcastically, still not taking her eyes off the pirate.

“Well we could just sit at a table-“

“Just ask then why they’re in town.”

Suddenly, Merilwen took her hair out of her mouth and piped up the best she could. She seemed to grow a bit as she stopped slouching in her seat. 

“How about we say that we’ve got a lead we obviously won’t say where you are-“

“Nice.” Corazon cut her off, everyone seemed to understand what her plan was. However, Merilwen seemed to revert back to her diminutive self. Dob figured that they probably should of let her finish if they wanted to hear her speak again within the next half hour.

“And then take em out I see.” A smug look came upon Prudence as she spoke, nothing like the prospect of being the lead killer to brighten her mood. Evidently the conversation had moved on, so the half orc decided he ought to chip in again.

“Like ‘hey you guys are pirates, we saw a pirate in town earlier today’” 

“We could sit near them and loudly talk about a pirate that we saw recently.” Dob added in, it felt like this plan was a potluck, with everyone chipping in a little something.

Suddenly Corazon leaped up out of his chair in excitement.

“Ooooh, we could set up a trap beforehand, we could set up like, he’s in this building and then close the doors behind them, bar the doors, and then, we’ve got them at our mercy.” Corazon put his fist into an open palm dramatically.

“And what we need realistically for that, and I love the idea is somewhere where we can take them that’s nearby, but empty. But if we start Eldritch blasting in a tavern, we’re gonna bring the law down on us.” Dob said, followed by everyone nodding in agreement, except for Prudence, who probably didn’t care about the law too much.

“Like a barn or something, or a like boathouse?”

“I wished we had a asked for that before we gave the harbormaster the ten gold, I feel like that would have encompassed that as well.”

“Mr........” Then of course Dobs brain took this moment to completely freeze. Why did everyone have to have such weird names?

“Egbert.” The Dragon replied, a bit affronted.

“Egbert, I’m sorry I’m terrible at names I seem to remember to said you grew up in stables a lot, do you know any stables in this town?” 

“No, I come from a long long way away.”

“Okay so you don’t still sleep in stables?”

“No, and you know I wasn’t sad to see the back of them, after six long years of mucking out horses allowed to move into the citadel, but yeah, I’ve been wandering a long time now, I don’t want to talk about why.” Egbert replied in a grim voice, his eyes staring off into the distance with the knowledge and pain of a much older man.

The bard just cleared his throat. “Ok cool.” 

“Well I think we should the harbormaster, we’re already friendly with him we’ve already paid him off, i feel like another little bit of gold, we can just rent a boathouse.” Corazon end the conversation definitively with the clap of his hands.

The group got back up from their table and made their way to the boxes, but clearly things had changed for the worse. The harbormaster was indeed where they had left him, but now we just hammered. Several empty bottles of various spirits surrounded him as he continued to drink at an astounding rate.

“Oi harbormaster, are there any boat houses out here that we can lock from the outside?” Corazon asked loudly, scratching the back of his head.

(Drunk noises)

“Ah mate, mate do you have any boat houses that we can lock from the outside, that I can just use? See it's me your old mate, Corazon, remember I gave you all that money you bought booze with?” Now Corazon was really going into full sales pitch mode, even though doing it do a drunk guy felt wrong somehow, at least to Dob.

The harbormaster finally acknowledged the group and raised a finger. “Ah money booze man…..” 

“Yeah money booze man.” Corazon nodded excitedly, but there was a bit of annoyance there as well, since everyone knew time was of the essence now.

The master sat up a bit and took a huge swig of an unmarked bottle, dripping some of it onto his expensive outfit. “Ahhhh, I remember you, ah there was one we was fixing up the hemp rope, there.” He managed to get out before belching in a revolting manner.

“Sounds perfect man thank you very much, we’ll take it!” Corazon looked like he was running out of patience. Thankfully, the harbormaster just nodded, apparently content with his current money.

Unfortunately for him, the group had to spend the next fifteen minutes watching the harbormaster look through his comically large ring of keys, going through it over and over again. After the forth go around, Dob noticed Prudence’s fingers start to crackle just a little bit, before Merilwen stepped up in front of the teethling with an adorable plea for peace. So Prudence relented.

Eventually, he did give them the proper keys to the boathouse. Which they took and ran off with before the harbormaster could sober up. 

A plan was hatched, a pretty good plan Dob thought. Using the boathouse as a means to trap the pirates so they could be a) reasoned with or b) dealt with.

“We need to find out why they’re here.” Corazon concluded as he paced around the boathouse, fingers sliding on the rough wood as he moved.

“You don’t know why they’re tracing you?” Prudence asked, stepping in front of the nervous pirate and stopping him in his tracks.

“I got a pretty good idea.” Corazon replied quietly.

“What do you think it is?” She stepped a little closer, Dob was starting to get nervous. This was not a good place for yet another shouting match.

Corazon stood there for a long time, his head hung low in shame, occasionally trying to start a sentence, but no words were forming. There was more silence, before he finally just started blurting out everything.

“Long story short, these guys are my old crew, and we got into some trouble searching for legendary treasure and they ended up cursed, and I didn’t. I managed to get out of there, and those guys didn’t.” Corazon sounded scared again, like when he first got the black spot. Dob realized that this entire time, in their search and related talk with the harbormaster, that their friend was just barely holding it together.

“It wasn’t by design, it was a very harrowing experience, I don’t like to talk about it. But I made it away, those guys didn’t, and now they’re seeking the return of something I no longer have.”

“What is it?” Prudence asked, she didn’t sound particularly hostile at the moment, not yet anyway.

“It’s part of a cursed treasure hoard, there are several coins that I’ve been trying to find for a while now. You may notice I steal things a lot, but that’s because I’m looking for these coins. Yeah, so far I only have two of the coins and we need eight so we’re not even halfway there. I’m trying to get them, but these guys keep trying to kill me. Which isn’t going to help anyone!” He threw his hands up in exasperation.

“You want to explain that to them?” Egbert asked, stepping closer. Everyone did, probably trying to protect him from Prudence’s upcoming meltdown.

“Maybe they’ll listen to reason ya know? I-it’s the old crew old Curly Joe...Jack Crackson….” His voice broke just a little bit.

He shook his head and tried to push his way past everyone, going right for the boathouse door. “Anyway, no point on dwelling on it, we need to get going. To the Boars Tooth and all of that.” 

“Corazon.” Dob was stunned by the sincerity in Prudence’s voice as she spoke, her anger towards the swashbuckling troublemaker seemed momentarily gone. Corazon turned around immediately.

“We’ll have your back, you have my word.” Was she..smiling? Like in a kind, non mocking way? 

Dob felt a surge of pride in the crew. “We’re in this together now I suppose.”

Merilwen nodded, and Egbert gave the world’s most reassuring thumbs up. 

Corazon stood in the doorframe, then stood up taller, the color returning to his face. 

“Right-o then lads, then let’s go make some friends.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m so sorry this took so long, I got away from the story for a while. Hopefully the next wait isn’t so long.


	4. Drunken Negotiations

Merilwen missed the woods. 

She missed the crunching of leaves under her feet, the sun shining down through the leaves and creating a gorgeous green glow, she missed feeling everything in nature flow through her like the very blood pumping through her veins.

Most of all, she missed not having to trudge through the concrete jungle that was this bloody horrible city. She had expected to get in, do a quick job, then get out. Hopefully without complications. Unfortunately, they sure did seem to come up anyway, such was life.

What wasn’t life however, was marching towards a bar with some new friends so they could set a trap for pirates. That was certainly a complication, but it wasn’t life, not by a long shot. Did that even make sense? Probably not.

Of course she hadn’t expected to become so attached so quickly to this bunch of weirdos, but it happened. Merilwen was the type to stand aside and watch other people from the edge of towns, trying to understand. For some reason, there was something about joining in and being a part of something that made Merilwen feel good.

Merilwen shook her head and glanced around, they were most certainly in the worst part of the city, the Vündercamp district, if that’s how you were supposed to pronounce it. There was crime swirling around them. People were selling stolen goods in alleys, then stabbing the buyers shortly thereafter, all right in the groups view. Even though this certainly wasn’t any kind of natural place, Merilwen could still feel the balance of life and death shuttling back and forth in her mind like a loom. 

This was enough to give her a bit of a headache as they came up to the entrance of The Boars Tooth. It was a medium sized establishment wedged between two abandoned shops. As they approached the entrance, they attempted to peer through the windows, but they were all so coated in grime that nothing was clear at all. 

“Well, I suppose we have no other choice but to go in.” Said Prudence, who was rubbing her hands together in anticipation. If Merilwen was to guess, she had probably been in places like this more than anyone. Unfortunately, she wasn’t like Prudence, she was not too keen to walk into a place like this, even if it was important to saving Corazon.

“H-hey Corazon have you considered going into witness protection or something?” Merilwen managed to get out, she could occasionally hear shouts and crashes inside, and that was only going to get worse once they entered. 

She didn’t even realize that her hand was shaking until Prudence suddenly grabbed it tight and squeezed. Merilwen looked over and was surprised by the warmth in the tieflings eyes. 

“I’d suggest you relax, you’ll be fine.” Then Merilwen felt the hand let go. “It’s not like they’ll care about a tiny wood elf anyhow.” Prudence snapped, but it seemed like she was just trying to sound tough.

“Corazon, if you want to come with us to the tavern, I have a disguise kit.” Dob shifted around his bag. 

“I like your purse Dob!” Egbert complimented not so helpfully, though Merilwen detected no sarcasm in the Dragonborns tone.

“It’s a knapsack.” Dob murmured, his face turned a darker shade of green.

“Oooh that sounds great.” Corazon walked over and tried to peer into the pu-knapsack.

“What did you want to be? Spider-Tiger?” Dob suggested.

“Yeah man make me up as a spider-tiger!” Corazon pumped his fist and sounded giddy about the whole idea. Merilwen wondered to herself if a spider-tiger was a real thing. But what did she know? She could just live in the woods, commune with animals, and turn into a freaking cat.

Dob reached down into the bag on his side, then he pulled out his disguise kit, which was a collection of various paints of shreds of clothing.

“Alright, who’s ready for a dress up montage?” Dob said with a big smile while he mixed the paints.

Merilwen knew that there was something wrong when Dob said “oops!”, for the second time. He kept putting on and taking off layers of orange and black paint, and moving around Corazon’s head to get better placement. 

Egbert watched absentmindedly, picking at his chainmail. Merilwen walked over next to him as the touching up of Corazon’s features continued. 

“Umm, do you think that Orc knows what he’s doing?” Merilwen heard him ask quietly.

“Oh yeah, I mean, I think he does at least?” Merilwen scratched the back of her head nervously, before starting to chew on a piece of her hair. Dob seemed like a such a sweet guy, but sometimes it felt like he could be a bit of a goofy klutz compared to Prudence or even Corazon occasionally.

Not that you were any better. She thought to herself bitterly, as Dob was attaching...sticks? 

Corazon evidently had noticed as well. “Dob, what in the gobshyte are you doing?!” He asked with his pirate accent coming out thicker than normal as he backed away from his stylist.

“I attached sticks to your arms, so now you have eight limbs like a spider! It’s super authentic!” Dob said as he stepped back to admire his handiwork. 

“Hate to break it to you buddy, but you better hope those pirates are super drunk.” Prudence announced as she studied him with narrowed eyes.

“Can someone please get me a mirror?” The pirate whined. 

“You could just look at my sword I reckon.” Merilwen interjected before handing off her shortsword to him, though thankfully he listened. 

“Gobshyte?” Asked Egbert, no one noticed him. 

Corazon checked out his reflection, looking less and less pleased. He ultimately gave his sword back to Merilwen with a thankful nod. 

“Soooo, I think I’m just going to stand behind all of you guys whenever possible.” He concluded. Everyone (even a very disappointed Dob) agreed that this was the best course of action. 

With that, the group steadied themselves and plunged head first into the alcoholic abyss that was The Boars Tooth. 

Merilwen wanted out almost immediately. Probably when the first glass was flung over their heads and smashed into an unfortunate bar patron. Whose face was covered with cheap ale and glass shards as a result. However, it clearly didn’t hurt that much, since the recipient of the mug attack charged past Merilwen with a chair leg, probably to whoever threw it to begin with.

While she had seen incidents like this happen at every bar she went too (albeit she hadn’t been to that many) she had never been anywhere like this. Because the entire bar seemed to be one loud, endless, drunken brawl. People were fighting in every way imaginable, as others drank enough alcohol to kill someone twice over. All while a rowdy tune was blasting loud enough to be heard above the rabble, Merilwen had never heard it, though it sounded like an unholy mix of pipe organs and the Dropkick Murphys.

Corazon kept behind his taller friends as his eyes slid back and forth, before stopping dead center in the room. Everyone followed his gaze, and that’s when Merilwen got the first look of their potential pirate foes. 

“Guys don’t look now, but..table by the fireplace, eight pirates.” Whispered, his voice was low and on a knife's edge. Merilwen guessed had it not been for Prudence’s reassuring talk before, he would already be in full panic.

“I can’t see!” Prudence quietly shouted looking up at the ceiling for some reason.

“I mean, do look, but don’t be obvious about it.” After a few minutes of the gang looking fairly ridiculous as they stared holes into various pieces of broken furniture, everyone was seeing what Corazon saw. 

There were indeed eight of them, all pushed together and rubbing shoulders as they sat a circular table. They were undoubtedly pirates, their faces were covered in thick filthy beards, or just filth. Rags clung to their bodies, not to mention cutlasses and the occasional hand crossbow. All of them were downing grog at a steady rate, getting drunker by the minute. However, it was impossible for Merilwen to miss the cold, angry, and laser focused dispositions they all possessed. The pirates looked they were indeed up to do something quite nasty.

“We need a table so we can eavesdrop.” Egbert concluded.

“There’s nothing open nearby.” Merilwen replied as the group continued to just awkwardly stand near the door, they needed to get moving.

“Those guys look about done.” Corazon said as he pointed to two older men with wispy grey beards they were slurring and barley speaking to one another coherently. “We need to get them out of here now though.”

He turned to Prudence, and gestured towards the table. “Go intimidate them into leaving Prudence.”

A horrific smile grew on her face. “Glady.” Prudence smarted before she walked over to the table, the group watched nervously as she loomed over the old men. Merilwen assumed the tiefling wouldn’t like getting ordered around, but clearly if it was about something she liked, she’d do it. 

The drinkers eventually noticed her, not really seeming to understand who they were dealing with. One if the men causally tried to wave her away. 

“Ugh, we’re good for drinks thanks.” He belched.

Well shit, they just confused her for waiting staff.

Prudence’s already intimidating form immediately warped into something more monstrous. She seemed to grow at least a foot taller, her eyes glowed the same otherworldly yellow color as her eldritch lightning, and air became thick with salty air. 

“LEAVE THIS PLACE WE NEED THIS TABLE.” She bellowed from the deepest trenches in the sea, from a hell beyond hell.

Merilwen was not even that close, and this spell clearly wasn’t directed at her, but it was all she could do to not run out of the bar and curl up in a bush somewhere. Prudence could be absolutely terrifying with so little effort. 

The men at the table seemed to think so as well, because they stood up and ran off in such a panic that they knocked the table right over onto the floor. Next to a puddle of what Merilwen hoped was their spilled drinks. Prudence smile, content with a job well done, and flipped the table back how it was supposed to be. Then she turned to group and motioned them over. 

“Come on lads, and Merilwen.”

Everyone nodded and hesitantly made their way over to the table and pulled up chairs, sitting around in a nice circle like the pirates only a few feet away. Merilwen bit her lip and kept glancing back, she didn’t notice that Dob had ordered some drinks until a flagon of hard cider was placed in front of her. Corazon immediately used his cup to cover his face. 

Thankfully, Prudence’s little stunt hadn’t disturbed the rest of the bar as much as Merilwen had expected. In fact, another fight broke out in the corner, which seemed to draw much more attention. The music only got louder and more edgy.

“Oooh! I love My Alchemy Romance!” Dob exclaimed, before he started to mouth along to the music. 

Corazon shot him a look, and the Orc stopped as quickly as he started. Then he turned over to Merilwen, though now the pirate had gone back to hiding behind the mug, so it was hard to take him completely seriously.

“Merilwen how’s your hearing?” He asked.

Merilwen’s tiny hands squeezed her flagon tighter. “It’s pretty decent.” She said through clenched teeth. If she had a piece of gold for every time someone had made assumptions about her hearing because of her pointy ears, she’d be the richest woman in all of Geth.

“I’ve heard things about wood elves being able to hear, it’s not about her ears guys.” Corazon said quickly glancing around the table. He smiled apologetically at Merilwen.

“Oh you sure? You sure?” Merilwen leaned in and whispered in a mocking tone. Her fists scrunched up into little angry balls.

“It’s quite a loud tavern, but I’d like to hear what the guys next to us are saying. I don’t think I can hear them over all the hubbub.” Corazon held out his hands defensively.

Merilwen leaned back in her chair, satisfied. “Well I’m quite good at perceiving what’s around me. I mean if they were animals it’d be easier…”

“We’re all animals Merilwen.” Prudence said sarcastically, rolling her eyes.

Merilwen breathed heavily out of her nose, who were they to treat her like she was a human amplifier? But it was also for a good cause, so was it ok? The elf shook her head and then closed her eyes, her hands stopped shaking. The table grew silent, everyone was clearly trying to not interfere now, hopefully she hadn’t scared them too much last time with the whole “I could hear the screaming” bit.

Gradually Merilwen was able to isolate individual tables, she just had to get the right one. 

“Ugh, I need more whiskey-“ Nope that wasn’t it.

“Hold on, who are you again-“ Nadda.

“No, for the last time, it’s not a pyramid scheme, that’s just how the graph looks-“ Definitely not.

Finally, Merilwen was able to isolate the table right next to them, and she tuned into the pirates conversation.

“So what’s the plan then?” She heard one of them law in a low voice, with a distinctive pirate accent.

“The plan is, we just go in an kill Corazon. I mean after he lost the damnation everyone knows he’s just been a loser going around, he never had any friends anyway so I don’t he’s got any people to back him up.” The man continued, Merilwen figured that he must of been the leader of this merry band of murderous pirates.

Then another one interjected, he sounded more nasally and weak. “Oh hang on a minute lads, what about those people he ran around with...they were, what was that cryer talking about some spicy rat?” 

“Ahh, they won’t stick by him, he will have gotten the black spot by now and they would’ve known that it was a lost cause. We’ll be absolutely fine, I mean I assume he’ll still be in the Flamingo, or maybe he’s hit the streets and he’s running for his life! This is going to be easy boys, drink up!” 

There was a hearty laugh from the pirates before all of them began to chug their grog in such a disgusting manner that Merilwen tuned them back out. Then she turned to the group and relayed all of the information she had just heard.

“I think it’s time we pipe up, and one of us mentions him.” Dob finally said, leaning forward in his seat. The group nodded in agreement, before Egbert looked at the horrifically disguised Corazon.

“Well not me obviously.” He snapped at the dragon, gesturing to his face. Dob nodded and then cleared his throat. Wait, was Dob going to do the very critical negotiation process? Merilwen found herself clutching her short sword under her cloak.

Dob leaned back in his chair and looked over at the head pirate with a black beard (who Corazon said was named Curly Joe) “Gents did I hear you mention a pirate?” He said very casually.

Curly Joe narrowed his eyes at Dob. “Dangerous thing dropping in on a pirate.”

“Do you wanna know what I’ve heard or not?” Dob said in the most passive aggressive freaking way, what was he doing? This was how Merilwen told people to stop cutting down trees, not how to trick deadly zombie pirates.

“I guess not.” Then Dob stopped leaning his chair and turned around back to the table, sipping from his drink. Everyone exchanged looks, what happened now?

“No go on I’m intrigued now!” Curly Joe suddenly called to Dob, it was heard to tell if he was being sarcastic or not. Though Dob winked at Merilwen like this was his plan.

“Well alright, just you mentioned a pirate....” Dob replied.

“Aye.” Curly Joe nodded, and downed more grog.

“And my friends and I happened to see one, not but a few hours ago, and I wonder how much it would be worth to you, to know where he went.” Prudence glanced at Merilwen with a stunned expression, she seemed surprised that this was going as well as it was.

“What’s this pirate look like then?” Curly Joe pressed.

“Don’t describe what he looks like now!” Egbert whispered before Merilwen squeezed his arm to make him stop talking, no one seemed to hear.

“Cocky sort of bearing, steals gold wherever he can he was boasting about it, boastful. I would add that to his list of qualities.” Dob said, Corazon seemed a bit annoyed, but nodded like this wasn’t unfair to say.

“Sort of tallish, pretty damn fine beard, sound familiar?” He concluded, Merilwen watched as a Curly Joe turned to the other pirates and consulted them. Then, without any warning or invitation, they stood up from their table and dragged their chairs over. Then they dispersed themselves around the table, causing Corazon to be sandwiched between Curly Joe and another pirate, Jack Crackson.

“Which way he go then?” Curly Joe pressed Dob, as unknowingly he sat inches away from his target.

“Well, he was in the Flamingo, you know it.” Dob went on, pulling out his lute and beginning to strum a tune that Merilwen didn’t know. He was totally calm.

“Mhm.” 

“But I don’t think he’s there anymore. We were sat there, having a few drinks, he had a little too much. Anyway, this welp comes in, gives him something, he goes totally pale-“

Dob found his story interrupted by some chuckling by Curly Joe, who then gestured for him to continue.

“He says something about how his reckoning has come, I think he may have...loosed his bowels.” Dob said as a little smile played at this lips.

That’s when the pirates began to laugh hysterically, doubling over one another and smacking on another on the back. Drinks were spilled as the table was shaking, Corazon looked less than pleased.

“The fuck are you doing?” Their disguised pirate fiend whispered, but this was drowned out by the laughing. Merilwen did realize what Dob was doing however, he was just playing to his audience. Telling the band of pirates that Corazon was as pathetic as they saw him, and that he was vulnerable. It was actually kind of brilliant.

“It was his round, so we told him he couldn’t go without getting us another drink, he said he really had to bail. He threw some gold on the table, he owed a little bit behind the bar as well so when the barmen was trying to get him to pick up his tab, he said: ‘come collect at that boathouse’ boathouse...” Dob paused for a second.

“Five.” Prudence added, bailing Dob out just a little bit, though at this point he had earned it.

“Five, I’d say it was.” Dob nodded confidentially

“Ahhh, boathouse five. Running out on a tab, that is classic Corazon de Leon.” Curly Joe shook his head in disbelief, Merilwen made a mental note that this was probably the guy who knew him best. Yet despite him, he wanted her friend in the ground. What did that say about Corazon?

“For a little bit extra, we’ll take you right there, we’ll help you bring him in.” Dob said in a quieter voice, Merilwen couldn’t believe how mesmerizing he could be. That must of been that bard part of things.

“I think we’ve got this handled, what you possibly bring to the table that we can’t?” Curly Joe replied and shifted his eyes around the group dismissively.

“I’m a giant dragon man.” Egbert deadpanned, like that fact was something he’d put on a resume.

“That did not go without notice sir.” Curly Joe shot back, though he still didn’t seem to be impressed.

“Perhaps you haven’t met my friend Prudence?” Dob said in a breathy, salesman tone. He put his hands out and directed them at Prudence, who smirked and then put her hands out. That was when the table lit up with a eerie yellow glow, an electric flame danced in her palms.

“Was it you who raised her voice not two minutes back?” One pirate asked with a cocked head.

“Yeah that was me!” Prudence replied cheerfully before extinguishing the flame.

“Ah, nice!” The pirate said dumbly, like a child who really did believe that the street magician made the bird vanish, instead of crushing it and replacing said bird with a new one. That was by far the worst way Merilwen had ever spent two coppers.

“I thought so, some of my best work.” The tiefling said before she leaned forward and gave the pirate a high five, playing with her food maybe? Or maybe she just really liked compliments.

As the other pirates nodded amongst themselves, it seemed that Dob had truly worked his audience perfectly. They had tricked the bastards! So of course Corazon took this time to try and screw up everything.

“Look monsieur, we were all on ze adventure with Corazon and he screwed all of us overah! We would all lik to join you in getting zome retribution from him.” He suddenly blurted out in a truly abysmal French accent.

“Why didn’t this French, or to be honest, possibly Swedish, Spider-Tiger not speak up before? Have you been wronged by Corazon de Leon?” Curly Joe asked, he already seemed on to on to them.

“The most wronged out of all of us, that’s why he can barely speak.” Egbert spoke up before Corazon could say another word, trying to shut him up.

“I used to have a normal face and voice!” Corazon said above Egbert, apparently he wanted to try his hand at being a master thespian. Even though Merilwen figured survival should be a top priority.

“He can barely speak!” Egbert said again, his voice on edge.

“And now I have the face of a Spider-Tiger and an ambiguous accent that could be from anywhere.” Corazon concluded. “It was all because of that damn pirate!” 

There was a moment of silence as everyone figured that there was no way they could dig their way out of this whole their pirate mate had dug them into. Merilwen tried to remain composed, but she was ready for a fight to break out.

But once again, Dob came to the rescue, placing his large Orc hand down on the table and looking around dramatically. “Look we’re wasting time, he’s in the boathouse, which means he’s gonna be gone soon. Out to sea, you’ll of lost him, do we have a deal or what?”

The pirates glanced around at one another, sending mental messages Merilwen figured. Though in the end she assumed a Curly Joe would be the one to make the ultimate call. He was like an alpha after all.

“Welcome aboard.” He finally said with a scary grin, the other pirates gave them a nod of approval.

“Sank you.” Corazon said gratefully, still roleplaying as someone with no consistent voice. Merilwen wished Dob would cast hideous laughter on him or something, that would probably be more natural then whatever was happening now.

“When do we go?” Curly Joe asked Dob before knocking back some grog, plenty of it getting on his thick beard.

“Right now!” Dob said firmly, standing up from his seat. 

“Alright, fine.” Everyone proceeded to follow Dob’s example, finishing up their beverages and rising up.

Suddenly, Curly Joe stopped everyone and held his hand aloft. “Hold on hold on, when did they start letting Spider-Tigers into the Bawdy Flamingo?”

“I mean, I waz with ze others, and when we came in it didn’t seem to be a problem.” Corazon replied nervously, Merilwen immediately began to feel her anxiety rise back up.

“How do you know who they let in? I thought this was your first time in port, are you not playing straight with us? I thought we had a deal?” Dob angrily got up in Curly Joe’s face, trying to reflect the attention.

“I drink everywhere a lot.” 

“Well the owner doesn’t have problem with me being there it only seems to be you, so if you have a problem, maybe you say it to my Spider-Tiger face? I don’t know what’s happening to my voice, it happens when I get angry!” Corazon babbled out, clearing not getting the memo that he was bad and should just stop.

“I only mentioned it because it seems like kind of an exclusionary establishment, thought, well I don’t want to drink in a place that doesn’t let in a Spider-Tiger.” Merilwen glanced over and Egbert and he just shrugged. Curly Joe didn’t seem like the kind who would advocate for social justice, but what was life anymore anyway?

“Oh that’s very nice.” Dob uttered in a meek voice, aware that the crew had dodged yet another bullet.

“New management I think.” Prudence said as she pushed her chair in, everyone gathered their clothes, backs, and deadly weapons.

“Tell you what, first round is on me after we kill Corazon de Leon!” Curly Joe announced with a proud evil grin.

“Ha ha! To the death of Corazon!” Dob suddenly yelled out, raising what was left of his drink aloft and chugging it down. The rest of pirates joined in, they cheered loudly and slapped each other on the back more. Getting worked up into a drunk and murderous frenzy.

“Death!” Prudence added for seemingly no reason, though it did sound awfully natural coming out of her mouth. She then put a finer point on it by plunging her knife into the table.

“Spider-Tiger, Tiefling, Half Orc...Bard, Dragon Man, and a Druid of some kind..” Curly Joe said as he surveyed the group with his hands on his hips. His cutlass seemed to be shining a little bit even in his stabbard, somehow.

“W-wood Elf.” Merilwen corrected him nervously, she really did prefer being ignored to any attention when it involved people like this.

“Wood Elf, Druid.” Curly Joe waved his hand, like they were the same thing. “This is a strange hunting party but I quite like it, let’s go!” 

Everyone nodded and they made their way out the door, no one dared asked for the thirteen armed adventures to pay a tab. There was also some guy hanging on a chandelier they were trying to deal with apparently. With that, Merilwen was greeted by the shining sun, she smiled and let it come down on her face for a bit. Then she followed back behind the gang, who were leading to pirates to boathouse five. 

That was going to be a deadly trap for certain. Though as Merilwen watched the pirates sing sea shanties and brandish their weapons, she wondered who it would be deadly for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m glad that I’m sort of back in the writing loop again, these are a joy to write (besides recreating all of the dialogue) Hopefully you guys like what I’m doing. Also, after the Spot of Bother storyline is finished I’m going to start diving into some side stories, so look forward to that.
> 
> Or don’t, it’s cool.


	5. Showdown at the Docks

“Well I can’t say I’m speaking for everyone, but I think this is going to be a lovely day out.” Egbert said chipperly to the group, including the attachment of pirates that they were leading straight into a trap. Would the pirates survive said trap? That was a question the group probably should've been considering a bit more. 

The gang was attempting at the moment to keep their mate Corazon surrounded so the pirates didn’t pick on up on his comically bad ploy. Fortunately, drunk pirates didn’t take too much to distract them. 

“Another one lads?” Dob asked after he finished his song, the strings on his lute growing quiet once more. The pirates cheered and threw their fists into the air, along with at least one hook. 

Dob obliged, and started belting out a merry tune. The pirates seemed to know it well enough that they sang along, putting arms around one another and swaying as they walked. 

To no one's surprise, the large group was scaring everyone they passed by. The boardwalk along the shore was clearing fast. One old man lept straight into the water as the team trudged along. He was clearly wary of the drunken killers behind them. Another guy just threw his basket of peaches down in front of them, and charged off. Merilwen picked up a juicy one and started to nibble on it. 

Corazon pulled up next to Prudence at the very front of the group, they could see the boathouse just barely over the horizon. The Tiefling noted that Corazon had actually calmed down significantly since she had shared promised that she would be with him. That concerned her. She was hoping he would assume it was a joke, not that Prudence was being sincere. Mostly because the warlock didn’t want to think about if SHE had meant to be sincere. 

“So just to be clear, we’re definitely going to kill all of them once we lock them inside that boathouse right?” Prudence asked before pulling out her stiletto knife and casually sharpening it against a wetstone she randomly yanked out of her pocket.

“What? No! I mean...maybe? I want to see if I can get any sort of information before acting rashly, and ya know, murdering everyone.” Corazon replied, trying to maintain a hushed tone so the pirates didn’t find out that his horrible and fake accent was in fact horrible and fake.

“I wished they wouldn’t sing so loud, I can’t think straight.” Prudence said with a tinge of annoyance.

“I mean, I do like this song though.” Corazon shrugged. Then he let her walk in front alone as he begun to whistle absentmindedly. Egbert held his head as he marched, resigned to be dragged into another war that he wasn’t sure about. Everyone else seemed to try and get a bead on what exactly Dob was singing. Apparently it was an exclusively pirate (and Dob) song. His voice always seemed to be so soft and full of life, like water pouring over stones. Despite the mob of drunk swashbucklers nearly drowning out the Half-Orcs voice, he was still in the lead:

Sittin' in the mornin' sun  
I'll be sittin' when the evenin' comes  
Watchin' the ships roll in  
Then I watch 'em roll away again  
I'm sittin' on the dock of the bay  
Watchin' the tide, roll away  
I'm sittin' on the dock of the bay  
Wastin' time

The pirates pointed their cutlasses to the sky and let out a hearty cheer. Dob seemed to be right with them, grinning and accepting pats on the back. If you didn’t know any better, you could easily make the assumption that he was just another member of Curly Joe’s party.

Corazon made note of that, just like Prudence high fiving the pirate. Both her and Dob seemed capable of feigning kindness when they were plotting how to capture and perhaps kill the pirates. Only difference between them being that Dob was an expert performer and seemed to get lost in his music, while Prudence was just being plain sadistic. 

Finally, everyone could see the boathouse coming up, it was actually close. Corazon tensed up, Dob stopped singing, Merilwen seemed to shrink down a bit as she walked, Prudence didn’t care, and Egbert didn’t notice. The drunken mob of pirates even quieted down a bit. After all, their prey was near.

The boathouse was small, it could probably only fit a canoe or two. The wood was a dark oak, with tiny flecks of faded green paint dotted on. Despite that, it seemed very well constructed. Corazon looked around, there wasn’t anyone else in sight, they had indeed picked the perfect isolated spot. Of course, that would backfire if things went badly. Which already seemed to be a bit of a staple of this particular group anyway. Now what was Dob up to?

Dob walked up to the front of the group, looking tall and official indeed. His goofy demeanor often made you forget that he was an absolutely hulking man. Taller than even Egbert, with huge arms and shoulders, and fists nearly as powerful as cannonballs. However, all of this was so frequently overshadowed by the fact he spent his time playing a lute rather than hefting a battle axe. The last adventure he had been content to use his magical skills for specific little side jobs.

Now however, Dob knew he was unmistakably forced to take the lead. Corazon’s typical bravado was shot, he wasn’t going to completely rebound without getting a win. Egbert was new, and seemed hesitant about this entire gang. Prudence was the hardest and probably most experienced, but her outward apathy towards everyone was a flaw. While Merilwen, while Dob had already grown to admire her, seemed too meek to take the reins.

That left him, which wasn’t ideal. 

Ultimately he had to do what he did in the bar, put on a performance. A really damn convincing one at that. One for the pirates, and one for his friends. 

So he looked to Corazon to and gestured for him to step up with him. The pirate uncharacteristically followed Dob’s orders. Everyone began to stop right in front of the boathouse, the pirates in tow. Dob reminded Corazon that he to maintain his horrific French accent. 

“In caze the jean damms, nearby ve vill watch the door. You go in and...do what you must, and then, we’ll see what happenz after that.” Corazon said, still fumbling with which group of people he was trying to impersonate. Even his sentence structure was all over the place.

The pirates all glanced around at one another, then they looked up to Curly Joe for the final say. The pirate in command stroked his beard sagaciously. Then he nodded. Once again, they had bought it in spite of Corazon. 

“Yeah you guys shout if you need us, and we’ll be in to help.” Dob added as the pirate group pushed their way past everyone. Now they were they were closest to the unlocked boathouse. 

“You have ze stronger claim, but we would like zome retribution when you are done.” Said Corazon, turning to give a little respectful wave to his mock allies. The pirates responded in turn. In another shocking twist, they had genuinely believed the French/Swedish spider tiger was looking out for them.

“Leave him slightly alive.” Dob said quietly, knowing that if Corazon was actually in there, the pirates would most certainly not honor that deal. 

Curly Joe put a finger to his bearded lips, requesting silence from his compatriots. They obliged and crouched down. It was more than a little chilling to watch such loud and brash swashbucklers begin to stealthily make their way to the boathouse. Dob watched as the pirates carefully began to draw cutlasses from their stabberds. Then they stacked themselves up near the doors, four on each side. 

After a few moments, Jack Crackson turned to the others and began to mouth counting. 1..2..3 BAM! There was a smack from shoulders on wood.The pirates slammed into the unlocked doors, and all eight of them charged into the empty boathouse whist screaming at the top of their lungs. Their swords gleamed menacingly as they disappeared from view. Then the doors swung closed again, like that of an old saloon. 

Merilwen had been shaking and mummering to herself for the duration of the walk, and even more so as she watched the pirates run inside the boathouse. However, she was the first to react at all. She rushed up to the doors and threw down a heavy wooden plank, barring them. Dob ran up right next to her and jammed his set of keys into the lock, further locking the pirates in. 

They quickly stepped away from the doors, and then from one another. A few a moments later, the pirates yelling died down. They had clearly figured out that their nemesis wasn’t there. Then the gang listened to the doors shake around as the pirates tried to open them up in vain.

“What the hell?” One of them called out in pure confusion.

“Aye, let us out of here!” Curly Joe yelled, sounding pissed off. It was surprising to hear him get panicked about anything. 

Corazon was grinning slyly, rubbing his hands together as if he was some sort of mustache twirling villain. Then he stepped right up to the door and called out tauntingly. 

“Yeah, surprise idiots, guess who it is. It’s me, Corazon.” He said quickly and matter of factly. There were some audible groans from the pirates on the door side of the doors, they were definitely used to this. “That’s right.” He confirmed. 

Then he dramatically began to wipe off his face paint. Or it would of been dramatic if the pirates were able to see his face. Everyone wanted to point this out, but decided to just let him have this moment.

“Haha, it’s me.” Corazon repeated, in case the first time wasn’t clear enough? Then he turned full on angry. “Why do you keep trying to kill me, I’m trying to free you idiots from your curse!” 

“Nothing personal Corazon, just let us out of here and we can talk about it like men with swords.” Curly Joe suggested, Corazon glanced over at Dob for advice, Dob shook his head. 

“No. I’m not going to let you out of there, you are going to explain to me why you keep trying to kill me! Stop giving me black spots, I’ve had like four in the last five years! You’re only supposed to ever have one.” He rambled out, it was all Corazon could do to not take Curly Joe up on his offer. After so many years of suffering, he was sick of running and hiding.

“Well it didn’t work the first time.” Curly Joe replied, sounding amused now.

“So this is..ugh my god, I’m so mad right now!” Corazon paced in front to the door with a hand on his forehead. This wasn’t going how he wanted at all. 

That’s when Merilwen walked up to the door and leaned closer to it. “Look guys I want you to listen to him, otherwise, I’m going to make you smell faintly of skunk.” She said in her best attempt at a menacing voice, but ended up sounding more like a passive aggressive hotel receptionist.

“She’s not..she’s not lying.” Corazon sputtered out, a bit thrown off by Merilwen’s attempt at helping.

“She’ll do it she’s crazy.” Prudence said sarcastically to herself, this was turning into a laughable affair. There was a reason why you just killed your foes immediately.

“You already smell pretty bad you’re pirates.” Corazon said half to their prisoners, and half to himself. As quickly as their plan at come together, now it had stalled. Sure, they had caught the pirates, but said pirates sure weren’t cooperating.

Egbert had been watching this whole exchange as he fiddled with his drawstring bag he kept pamphlets in, thankfully his other equipment was undisturbed. Then he perked up when he heard an unsettling sound out of nowhere.

SPLASH! He heard it from out behind the boathouse, behind the boathouse...boathouse. Oh shit. 

He grabbed Merilwen and Corazon with his two massive hands and then yanked them over towards him. This got everyone else’s attention. 

“Um guys...I feel like they might be coming out of, the bit of the boathouse that is completely open to the sea.” Egbert said as he nervously touched all of his fingers together. 

There was a moment as everyone tried to process what the weird dragon guy just said. They glanced around, coming out of where? That’s when Prudence’s eyes shot wide open. 

“That makes it a boathouse…” She said, then her teeth ground together, her eyes got darker, and her black nails dug into her palms. Corazon didn’t have time to react before he felt the now familiar heat on his face from Prudence getting closer to him. She didn’t say anything, her anger seemed more controlled, yet somehow just as scary.

“Daft as a bush…” Merilwen bitterly said while fiddling with her bowstring. 

“Well it’s a bit of a long story Corazon, you might want to get comfortable.” Curly Joe said from behind the door, apparently not hearing the group’s exchange. Meanwhile, Egbert could hear more splashes from out behind the boathouse.

“Oh no, oh god the splashes.” Corazon put both of his hands through his hair, starting to panic again now. 

“Well obviously…” Curly Joe began to start rambling incoherently. Talking about his favorite toys as a child, and then how said toys sparked his love of ships and sailing. He most trying to stall no doubt. 

Most likely for the other pirates pirates hopping into the water. Egbert was listening for it now, and the splashes were becoming more regular. He couldn’t tell how many were out, but it was most of them.

“Alright guys this plan hasn’t super worked.” Corazon admitted, biting his lip and losing his cool once again. He desperately tried to rack his brain for a new, less awful plan to replace the current awful one.

Dob looked up at the low roof of the boathouse, it certainly looked strong enough to hold a person standing on top of it. So he looked back to the group and gestured to said roof. 

“I’m gonna backflip on up there and check out what’s going on.” Dob whispered calmly, even though he just proposed to get up on a roof in the most impractical way imaginable.

“Backflip?” Corazon responded in confusion. He loved being flashy, but even this seemed unnecessary given what was at stake. Prudence and Merilwen looked at one another and nodded, it was stupid for sure, but cool. 

“Are acrobatics part of your musical show that you do?” Egbert asked while Dob cracked his neck and took some deep breaths. 

“They are actually yes, I’m a tumbler.” Dob said with a smirk. He was always expected to be the brute type, but he was much more skilled in terms of acrobatics. Now there was a chance to show off said skill. 

“I look forward to seeing that, if we all survive this.” Egbert replied grimly. 

“You’re about to get a preview now.” Dob shot back before he hunched up, gripped his lute, and just leaped straight up into the air. His massive green body did a few rotations before landing on top of the boathouse. There was a metallic thud of his shoes hitting the tin roof. 

Everyone stared in awe at the Half-Orc’s athletic ability, Dob swore that he saw Corazon hand a few coppers to Merilwen. But there was no time to bask in the afterglow. The bard got down on his stomach and wiggled his way stealthily over to the opposite side of the boathouse, the one out to sea. He poked his head just into view, and to his horror, the pirates were indeed in the water. 

There were six of them in total, two of them were beginning to swim around left side of the boathouse, and two of them were doing the same thing on the right side. The last pair was just emerging from the boathouse. Though Dob guessed they would split up and each go their own way...that was a good song. Whatever. It looked like those pirates were going to be wading up onto the docks on the sides of the boathouse. They didn’t have too far to swim either.

“Okay, but we’ve got the upper hand right? We’re on land, we’ve got the high ground, we’ve got the dry ground. And two of them are occupied trying to keep us talking.” Dob muttered to himself.

Dob shook his head. Then he crawled back over to the other side of the boathouse, where his companions were eagerly awaiting. Since the pirates were now outside, they could undoubtedly hear better. Dob stuck out three fingers and and then made a grand motion to suggest that they were going around. Everyone figured out what he meant thankfully, after Merilwen whispered to Egbert that this wasn’t charades. 

“Well guys there’s still one-“ Corazon caught himself and tried to talk more quietly. “One of them’s still talking to me I think he’s trying to stall me.”

“Keep em busy, get some intel.” Prudence whispered back in reply. Everyone was putting their hands inside their various packs and coats, the adrenaline of battle was no stranger to any of them. Now that all of them were packed together in a single, lethal party, the energy was palpable.

“Corazon it started about uh 50..I was a little boy…” Curly Joe said in a mock wistfulness. He was really trying to spin this one out for as long as he possibly could. 

“Oh my god Curly Joe your stories are the worst.” Corazon groaned, half trying to keep his rivals attention while the gang figured out a plan, and half being truthful. Because Curly Joe’s stories truly were the worst. 

“Curly my hair was, my mother called me Joe.” He began, as his enemies schemed a way to take him down from the other side of the door. 

The party members decided on an ambush.

Merilwen and Prudence turned to one another and spoke in hushed tones and pointed fingers. When they stepped back it was agreed that Dob and Prudence would handle the left side, while Egbert and Merilwen would take the right. Both pairs began to walk away from one another and towards their respective sides of the boathouse. Corazon kept leaning up against the door as Curly Joe delved deeper into how his nickname came to be. The pirate responded by taking a swig from his hip flask, blood hadn’t been shed yet and things were already painful.

Dob poked his head up from on top of the roof, it looked funny, but no one could really laugh at anything at this point. (Except maybe Prudence), “Wait, we’re all on board with shooting to kill if they properly attack right?” He asked from his elevated position.

“Yep.” Merilwen nodded while she checked her arrows for potential excuses were she to miss. 

“Nice.” Dob replied, flashing a reassuring smile and getting his body fully back on top of the roof again. Then he crawled back into scouting positions, his lute hung heavily on his chest. 

“Didn’t want to team up with a demon anyway.” Egbert growled as he and Merilwen leaned up against the corner, out of view for now. There was an audible gasp from Merilwen as she got in his face, arms crossed.

“Wait, I’m gonna have to talk to you about that. We don’t, tease her for that..” She said quietly, but firmly.

“Save it Merilwen!” Prudence yelled from her side, this wasn’t really the time to be worrying about political correctness or whatever.

At the same time, Dob poked his head up a bit from his spot and watched as the two pirates leading were nearly at the docks now. The third one trailing would be there soon as well. That’s when he heard one of the pirates yell and wave his cutlass at Dob whilst still swimming, no easy feat. They must’ve spotted them. This was combat now. 

This was the part where he let Prudence take over right? He had already done his little cutesy action for the day by backflipping on the roof pointlessly. Now his terrifying blood colored friend was going to unleash ancient Eldritch horrors on the pirates. However, Dob knew it was time to step up alongside her. This group needed to join together into a well oiled fighting machine if they were going to save Corazon.

Dob stood up to his full height, his chin held up high. Then his hands gripped the lute just a little bit tighter, feeling the soft wood on his calloused hands. Slowly, he began to let the tips of his fingers slide across the strings. A little tune began to play, it started out barely audible at all. Just some plucking of strings. The two lead pirates in the water stopped swimming and watched him with curiosity. Then Dob started to speed up, the sounds of strings vibrating as fast as sound itself became more apparent. 

Dob could feel his hands start to warm as he found his groove. As he played, he strolled up to the edge of the boathouse roof, staring down at the pirates. The hairs on the back of his neck stood up. Dob could vaguely taste ozone on his tongue now, he kept playing. Now he couldn’t let up. The strings started to glow a radioactive blue as his fingers slid across them. The lute shook violently in his grasp now, it was all he could do just keeping it under his control. 

Finally, Dob raised his right hand up to the sky, his palm flat. Then he brought it down again hard with a single devastating power chord. The entire dock rumbled with a powerful thunderous roar. The pirates only had a single moment to watch as tendrils of electricity volleyed their way towards them. Finally, they were consumed by the lightning. Their bodies began to shake and smoke, while the sea around them started started to froth around them. They may not of been skeleton pirates, but you could certainly see their skeletons now.

Dob gritted his teeth, and held the blast for as long as he possibly could. He muscles strained to keep the lute from exploding in his hands. After a few more seconds of this, Dob let go. The lute cooled off, slowly returning to just some humming strings. The Half-Orc took a deep breath, and then swallowed hard. The pirates he had hit with his blast had been reduced to a few smoldering pieces of meat bobbing up and down in the water, very near disintegrated altogether. 

Prudence stared up at Dob from her position down on the dock. She didn’t even realize she was biting her lip until she heard the last pirate climb up onto said dock. That some of the finest magical killing she had ever seen, it was kind of beautiful. Why didn’t Cthulhu give her a magical lute that could Eldritch blast people? She’d have to bring that up when they talked next. Prudence shook her head and turned her attention to the last pirate who was now watching the water where his friends were now eternally condemned. He cocked his head, and as if trying to understand how a person could look like that. 

That’s when Prudence placed her hands on her shoulders and flicked off her flowing red cloak. The pirate turned white as his eyes followed the cloaks descent to the sodden dock. Prudence couldn’t help smiling now, she hadn’t killed anyone in a good day or so. Not since the guard working for that stupid gnome. She remembered how shocked her friends were at that, but now they probably considered themselves lucky. 

The pirate groped for his cutlass, still keeping his eyes on Prudence. Suddenly Prudence threw her arms up in a dramatic judo pose. Then her right hand thrust forward with a blurry red move. There was an immediately satisfying smell of sea salt in her nose, her entire body relaxed. Fighting for her master was always what made Prudence feel the most calm and safe. 

Her hand glowed with that distinctive haunting lightning, and she shot a bolt of it straight at the pirate in front of him. She was ready for him to get blasted into pieces. Unfortunately, this was one of her weaker bolts of energy, because the pirate only stumbled back a few paces. His clothes looked considerably more charred, and he seemed a bit out of it, but the pirate was far from dead.

Prudence swore to herself as the pirate shook his head and then waved his cutlass menacingly at her. She wasn’t impressed.

Corazon groaned only a few feet away, he had managed to drag an old chair to sit down in as Curly Joe rambled on. Combat sounded preferable to all of this listening, listening was what people did whenever Corazon was telling one of his rad stories! He glanced over at the right side of the boathouse. “Hey guys, how's it going over there?”

Not nearly as great. 

Merilwen cocked her head from side to side as she watched the three pirates climb up onto the dock. Then she took a quick look over at Egbert, who was standing a few feet back from all of the action. “What the bloody hell are you doing?” She whispered through gritted teeth. Egbert was reading one of his religious pamphlets with one hand, and held his shield with the other.

“I’m waiting to see how all of this plays out.” He said boredly. 

Merilwen rolled her eyes. “This is why religion is all bloody useless.” She growled before yanking and arrow out of her quiver and cocking her bow. Immediately she felt the soft string on her tiny fingers, it made her anxious. She hadn’t gotten nearly as proficient with a bow as she would of liked. Then again, what was it with everyone expecting elves to be good with bows? She wanted to find whoever started that trend and stab them with their own arrow.

The lead pirate was dripping with saltwater as he waved his sword about casually. Merilwen stepped from her cover, trying to look brave. The last time she used her bow, she was trying to incapacitate a guard that Prudence ended up annihilating with dark magic. So now she may as well shoot to kill now.

The pirate grinned at her with rotting teeth. “Hey girlie, how about you and your priest friend step aside? It’s the pirate we want anyway.” He wasn’t even taking her seriously!

Merilwen let her arrow fly, where it plunged right into the pirate’s shoulder with a satisfying thud. It wasn’t an instant kill, but it was a good start. He grabbed at it, before remembering it unwise to yank an arrow out. The pirate roared with fury before he charged right at her with his cutlass above his head. The other two behind him pulled out their hand crossbows. 

The first pirate was clearly not working at peak brain capacity, because he swung clumsily in front of Meriwen’s face. All she needed to do was just lean back casually. He was so off in fact, that the sword plunged into the wooden dock. Lodging itself there. “Mate.” She teased.

Before Merilwen could even think, an arrow from one of the crossbows wizzed right behind her. Merilwen could feel the air displace behind her, and the braid on the back of her head flew up in response. Thankfully the braid was alright. She hopped away from where she was standing, right into the sights of the third pirate. He grinned and pulled the trigger. Merilwen ducked, but she didn’t even need to. The pirate missed so wide left that it wasn’t even close. 

She turned around to see where it went, it did hit something. The dead center of Egbert’s shield. This was enough to get his attention. If only because he was shocked at how incompetent these pirates seemed.

Egbert called over to Corazon, who was still keeping Curly Joe occupied. “This was your crew, how rigorous was the interview process?” 

“I trained them!” Corazon responded back. 

“Right..” Egbert nodded, like that explained everything.

After that devastating quip, he slung his bag over his shoulder and casually trudged over to Merilwen. Like he wanted to have a quick chat, and wasn’t walking through a battle. 

“I know we’ve got pirates bearing down on us, but I wanted to talk a little bit...about my life’s work.” He said, before blocking a pirates fist with his powerful shield. Merilwen dodged her way towards Egbert, hoping was this was going to be any good. She had liked talking to him ever since they met, but now she was starting wish he’d sod off with the religious stuff.

“As a paladin obviously, I’m keen to smite evildoers.” He said before putting his bag down and starting to sift through it. What was a pamphlet going to do in this situation?

“Yeah they're very evil and they need smiting, right now! That one nearly took my braid off with an arrow!” Merilwen said desperately, looking back at their swashbuckling foes. Two were reloading, and the third was trying to yank sword out of the dock. Thankfully that arrow to the arm was making that task considerably more difficult.

Egbert nodded at this sentiment. “My plan was essentially to find a way to smite evildoers with a single flash of merciful, holy light.” He said as he started pulling out pamphlets, looking at them, and just stuffing them back into the bag.

“Right!” Merilwen nodded back, continuing to glance back at the pirates every few moments as they were drawing near. For someone who had actually fought in wars, it didn’t seem like Egbert knew how these engagements were supposed to go.

“So I’ve got something for this, in ma bag.” Egbert continued, until his eyes lit up with a fresh light. He had found it. His hand gripped tighter around the small, cold sphere in his burlap sack. Then he pulled out a small black bomb with a tiny fuse. Which was also labeled, “Bomb” for convenience purposes.

“That’s great.” Merilwen said, just as wide eyed as the dragon himself. Egbert reckoned she was impressed. It wasn’t every day you saw a paladin who just chucked bombs around.

“I thought I might throw this at the three pirates. They seem quite close together so I bet I can take out two, maybe even three of them.” Egbert explained to her matter of factly.

“That would be brilliant.” Merilwen said, before starting to make a circling gesture with her hands. What did that mean? Wagon wheel? Oh yeah, it must’ve meant to hurry up. That’s when Egbert noticed how close all of the pirates were now. 

He stood up and got in front of Merilwen a little bit, it felt kind of nice to be protecting someone he was actually fond of. Then Egbert put the bomb close, lit it up, and threw it hard at the group of pirates.

Tragically, Egbert had clearly thrown it to hard. Because he lost control of the curve right at the end of the pitch. So the bomb flew nearly straight up into the air, and over the pirates heads. So stunned were his enemies, that they watched it soar past them, and straight into the sea. 

Egbert cringed as he heard the soothing sound of the bomb fuse go silent as it sunk down to the bottom of the ocean. Merilwen shot him an equally deflating look of confusion. The yellow scales on his face turned a bit more red. 

Dob was standing on the roof, keeping an eye on Prudence’s individual little fight. The newly eldritch blasted pirate clumsily pulled out his hand crossbow, and missed right. The arrow lodged into the boathouse right near Prudence’s head. Just as Dob was ready to hop down and help Prudence finish the bloke off, she heard a cry from the other side.

“Dob!” Merilwen yelled up at the roof, it immediately hit him right in the heartstrings. His friends were in trouble. He looked back down at Prudence, who had wreathed her arm in lightning once again. She gave him a little smirk, and gestured for Dob to take care of business on the other side.

“Dob! He’s not very good!” Merilwen yelled out again, sounding a bit strained. That was enough for Dob to run over to the other side. It certainly didn’t look good at the moment. Egbert and Merilwen were outnumbered, they needed a hand for now. 

“Threw a bomb in the sea.” Corazon added as he inspected the sharpness of his rapier. Yep, still sharp.

This was enough to send Dob over the mental edge. He slung his lute onto his back once again, then drew his rapier. Dob didn’t see himself as competent with swords, but now was no time for music. With a couple of flourish twirls, he pointed the rapier down. Then Dob backflipped right off the boathouse. He was targeting the pirate with the arrow already stuck in his shoulder. 

Dob steadied his aim as he fell, getting ready to be plunged right into combat. Somehow, despite constantly spinning in the air as he fell. Dob knew exactly where to land. The second his shoes hit the deck, he sword began to swipe every which way. The already wounded pirate had been caught completely off guard. His rapier became a blur as he could hear the disgusting sound of steel tearing apart flesh. It sounded like a thousand watermelons being thrown down on concrete. 

Finally Dob stopped, and stared down at his carnage. The pirate had been cut to ribbons. Reduced to a pile that looked not unlike a bunch of sliced ham pieces. Dob’s sword and arm was now dripping with gore. Merilwen stood in on the other side of the mutilated corpse. She had a bit of blood on her as well, with a single tiny hand covering her mouth. 

“Oh god, I might of gotten a bit out of hand there…” Dob said sheepishly. Before Merilwen nearly burst out laughing. She grinned ear to ear, and took a step towards Dob before just backing off, not wanting to stand in the pile. 

“That was wicked cool! I-I didn’t know you could do that.” She said before suddenly blocking an out of nowhere sword attack with her bow, and pushing the pirate away. The she ran off towards the edge of the dock, Dob followed close behind her. 

Meanwhile, Prudence cracked her neck a bit. Her opponents arrow shot had gone almost comically wide, this pirate was just asking to die now. He had caught a seemingly unnecessary name tag on the pirate’s jacket. Apparently his name was Jerky Steve. Prudence didn’t care about that all too much, so she just decided to finish him off with a second Eldritch blast straight to the chest.

Her forearm buzzed and cracked with more terrifying power, Prudence casually waved her hand around to stoke it up a bit. Until it started to condense into a more solid ball of energy. That’s when her arm launched with sudden furiosity, another satisfying bolt.

This time, Prudence was sure he would be done for. The pirate certainly got hit again, and stumbled backwards. But he was still up, against all logic. His hair was now smoking, his beard nearly burned clean off. Prudence could see his skin was reddened all over his body, and just plain bleeding on other spots. She must of just blasted the surface of his body, like sand in a hurricane level wind. Her Eldritch blast always seemed to lack consistency with the kind of damage it did. 

This moment of personal shame was broken by a stirring in the water just next to her. Her master spoke, and she listened. Immediately Prudence felt her guilt dissolve like sugar into tea. Cthulhu always had a way of putting things into perspective. His message was kind but firm, sometimes you didn’t need to massacre half a town, you just needed to make one man suffer. He could really make you feel so warm and wholesome.

At this point, Curly Joe had paused and stuttered a few times now. It was obvious to Corazon that he was aware of the fight going on at this point. Corazon smirked, now Curly Joe knew the feeling of being boxed in.

“Curly Joe, I’m sure you’ve realized by now we’re taking the crew apart” Corazon said, leaning closer to the door. His snideness was unmistakable.

“I had noticed that yes.” Curly Joe responded.

“So, do you wanna call these guys off? Because it’s going to end badly for everyone else.” Corazon offered, maybe the pirates would actually make the right call here?

“No.” Apparently not.

“You don’t, want to call everyone off? Ok.” Corazon bit his lip and start to reach down to his belt. 

“You wanna unlock these doors, and we can...have a little fight?” 

Corazon took a deep breath, at long last all of the stupid talking was over. He respected Curly Joe to challenging Corazon to a duel like a proper gentleman. 

If only Corazon de Leon was a proper gentleman.

“Time to get jiggy with it.” He said with a grin, then he flicked the lock up with the slightest of finger movements. That was the precision of a thief. Before Curly Joe could even draw his cutlass from its decorative stabbard, Corazon kicked the doors straight into him. 

As the doors flew open in slow motion, Corazon watched it as the man who had been hunting him for years came into view. Corazon felt his blood boil, when he thought it couldn’t get even hotter. He didn’t even wait for Curly Joe to hit the floor before he yanked out his hand crossbow and fired it straight at his former friend. 

Curly Joe felt the unpleasant feeling of the hard wooden floor on his back, and the deadly sharp arrow in his shoulder. Corazon had missed his neck by a few inches. Now the old captain of The Joyful Damnation loomed above.

“You miss me?” Corazon asked calmly, this reunion was quickly becoming everything he had ever wanted it to be. All of the nights fleeing for his life, now had some meaning to them. He had faced these ghoulish pirates before, killed a fair number of them. Curly Joe however, had always survived those encounters. That needed to change.

Curly Joe started to rise, his hand back on the hilt of his rapier. Corazon pulled out his rapier, putting the crossbow away. “Stay. Down. I’m not going to ask you twice.” He said as he lowered the sword point down near the pirates thick beard.

“Okay.” Curly Joe said before kicking Corazon’s legs out from under them. This gave him enough time to get to his feet, just in time for Corazon to do the same. Both of their swords were now drawn, not gleaming in any sort of sunshine, just cold, grey steel. Corazon adjusted his dusty black hat, so it was close to covering his eyes. 

Curly Joe laughed at that. “Always style over substance with you isn’t it? Probably why you didn’t save the crew all those years ago eh?” He growled at Corazon, their swords were motionless, there was no fear among either of them. Even if the amount of pure hatred was most certainly shared between them. 

“Do you think I wanted that? I’ve been trying to end this damn curse for years, what have you done?” Corazon shot back angrily, before he tried to surprise his old friend with an old move, trying to plunge the rapier straight into his gut immediately. 

Curly Joe was ready for it though, he simply sidestepped and avoided the strike altogether. Then Corazon avoided an attempted slash across his face with a little hop backwards. Clearly, both of them were still as sharp as the swords they were wielding.

Both men clashed swords again, Corazon lunged ahead and tried to get another stab in near Curly Joe’s chest. It was simply parried with an equally fast sword swipe. Corazon cringed as he felt his hand sting a little from the hard vibrations of his sword handle. There were more clangs reverbing around the empty boathouse as steel slammed against steel. 

Suddenly Curly Joe backed up and pointed one of his sausage fingers behind Corazon. “Look! Is that DJ Jazzy?” He called out, it wasn’t that good of a lie. Though Corazon decided check behind him, just in case. That’s when he felt a sharp pain in his own shoulder, the same one that he shot Curly Joe in only a few moments ago. Except, you know, it was Corazon’s shoulder now. 

Before Curly Joe could pull the sword out, and run his friend through completely. Corazon was able to stumble back and hold is rapier out in front of him weakly. Then he gently put his free hand over the small hole in his shoulder, trying to stop the running blood. It just flowed through his fingers, it wasn’t fatal or anything, but Corazon felt his pride take a much more serious wound. 

“Curly Joe you dick…” Corazon groaned weakly. Before he charged right back at him without hesitation. This was a battle he couldn’t lose under any circumstances, because Corazon only had one life. 

Meanwhile. Dob had followed Merilwen to the edge of the dock, a bit further away from the action. What was her plan exactly, bail? Dob wouldn’t of been opposed to that, his adrenaline was all that was keeping him from hightailing it.

“Dob, we need to speed all of this up. I’m going to take a risk, but I’m going to be out of combat for a bit. Can you guys protect me?” She said as she started walking down a little set of stairs that went right into the water.

“Merilwen, did you not see how things went with the bomb earlier?” Egbert called out from a distance away, keeping the remaining two pirates at bay with his shield. 

“Yeah but Dob’s here now, so I feel safer.” She said before giving a warm, reassuring smile in the bard’s direction. Dob smiled back, he felt so...wanted. That was a feeling he never got (except when parents needed last minute entertainment at a birthday party) Then Dob watched as Merilwen waded into the water, kneeled down in it, and started to trail her palmson it’s reflective surface. It reminded him of how she was able to feel the pain from the fish earlier, but now, she looked like she was communicating. 

Her eyes shut firmly, and Dob stepped back almost inadvertently. Now he could feel where her power was the strongest. The souls of a million generations worth of sea creatures flowed around her. Dob couldn’t see it, but he could sure as hell feel it.

Merilwen fell into her trance quicker then she thought she would. Usually, being able to speak to animals took a considerable amount of time and concentration. She figured that it would take even more time with the added stress of such a raging battle. Instead, Merilwen could feel herself fall head first into the bright blue wading pool. She wasn’t really sure why whenever she communed with animals, she would be brought back to this strange pool of water. Perhaps it was some way of entering a spirit realm? Merilwen didn’t really like to think about it in a technical way, that scared her for some reason. 

As she passed through, her body got blasted with a shot of ecstasy. Immediately, she could hear the hundred if not thousands of creatures chattering with one another incessantly. It didn’t feel overwhelming though, Merilwen felt at home with such pure and organic chaos. Now it was time to add to the chaos.

Above the water, and on the other side of the boathouse, Prudence was officially sick of dealing with this seemingly indestructible pirate. In his last burst of energy, the smoking pirate shambled his way over to her. His taunts were long over now, replaced with pained moans. He looked like an absolutely spent human being. His sword moved about in his hand like a partially cooked noodle. Prudence let a tiny bit of a smile tug at her lips. If she let him live now, he would undoubtedly spend the remainder of his life in pure, ceaseless agony. That was certainly a tempting prospect, but she figured killing him would bring Cthulhu considerably more joy. 

So she simply stood still as the pirate clumsily made her way over to her, and raised his cutlass over his head. She took a step back, and the pirate swung it hard were she was just standing. Prudence watched the sword travel horizontally across her field of vision, and then straight into the boathouse itself. Quite near where his arrow impacted actually. 

The pirate’s bloodshot eyes grew even more wild and crazed now he realized that he was trapped. In desperation, he tried to yank his sword free, to no avail. Prudence stepped forward, and placed her hand on top of his own, which had a death grip on the sword grip. That grip dissipated as Prudence gave a little smirk, and shook her head.

“Hey, it’s alright love, it’s all over now.” She cooed in a low, sultry voice. Her yellow eyes, which terrified the pirate only moments ago, now seemed sympathetic to him. Her lips were pursed with great intrigue.

Then her mouth turned harsher, and she pulled out her gorgeous stiletto knife. The pirate didn’t have time to scream before she plunged it straight into his already charred gut. Now he couldn’t scream even if he wanted to. Blood trickled down and out of his mouth, his already broken body started to go limp. But Prudence kept him held up, not breaking eye contact. Her callused right hand continued to sit atop his sword hand, while she kept sliding the knife deeper into him with her southpaw.

“Shhhhhhh.” Prudence whispered, before she took a step closer to him. Closing the distance, while her knife started to twist around between his ribs. Then she gripped her knife tighter, and slashed upward. Now she could hear him whimper in truly pathetic fashion, only for said to whimper to stop as soon as it started. 

Prudence was greeted with a slimy feeling on her entire forearm. The pirates guts poured out of his now ripped open torso. Prudence knew that sensation well at this point, so she watched her foe breathe his last breath undeterred. After that, she yanked the knife back out, and let him drop to the dock in a literal heap. 

She cracked her neck as she stared down at her downed foe, yet another soul to add to the bottomless pit. She felt the pleasing sensation of a tentacle coiling around her neck, she had made her master proud once again. After a moment’s contemplation, she start to stroll to the other side of the dock.

Egbert felt immense shame as the pirates kept backing him up slowly towards Merilwen. He had never fought people with this particular set of skills before, or who were this drunk. It made them wildly unpredictable. Egbert wasn’t some common brawler like the rest of this lot, he was a bloody warrior right? One who was used to analyzing opponents fighting patterns, and was incredibly nervous to impress his new friends. 

Because truth be told, Egbert knew he needed to shed his warrior persona. That wasn’t him, it never was. He had never fit in with anyone in the order, though he had tried his damndest. Ultimately, it felt like his goofball moments had a nasty habit of coming up to bite him. That’s why he had tried to start doing more unique things, like throwing bombs, or handing out pamphlets in the midst of battle.

“Gentlemen, before you kill me, have you heard the good news?” He asked his a big toothy smile, holding up a medium sized pamphlet. One of the pirates slashed it out of his hand with his cutlass. That was his last in blue! 

Egbert glanced behind him as he kept backing up with his shield covering his midsection. Merilwen was still in her mysterious trance, running her hands along the surface of the water and mummering to herself. “Darling it's better...down where it's wetter...take it from me…” 

Dob had been kneeling down next to her some time, making sure she didn’t face plant into the water. But now he stood up and pulled out his rapier, and stood next to Egbert. Finally, he could use somebody who was clearly on a hot streak like Dob. 

“So, do you think you can take the one on the right?” Egbert asked impatiently. Dob shook his head. 

“You’ve got them buddy, I actually need to take care of something else. Bye!” Dob said in a hurry. Before he absolutely booked it past the two pirates, and just dove into the water at full speed. The pirates and Egbert both let their guard down as they watched Dob resurface and start to paddle his way around the side of the boathouse. Towards the entrance where the pirates escaped from initially. Until he was out of view, and there was just 

All three of them looked at one another in pure confusion. One of the pirates spoke up. “Wow, did he leave his stove on her something?” He said, before he started to cackle. Showing off all three of his teeth, then the other one started laughing with him. Egbert couldn’t help joining in, losing it. The entire situation felt so bizarre that laughing about it seemed only natural. 

As the pirates started to wipe their eyes and get it together, Egbert’s smile dropped completely. “Sorry lads.” He deadpanned, then pulled out his mace, and swung it right at the pirate to the right of him. 

The mace impacted right against the pirate’s temple, knocking him down onto the dock. He might of cracked his skull, but he wasn’t done for yet. 

Corazon was starting to resent all of the time he he spent training with Curly Joe. Night after night, they would spar on the deck of the ship. In front of the entire crew, making a flashy display of skill. Corazon remembered winning and losing battles, but always having a pint of grog with Curly Joe and his loyal crew. Now it was a fight to the death, and of course the man standing in his way knew his fighting patterns better than anyone. 

Corazon danced back and forth trying to draw out Curly Joe, but the pirate was too smart for that, tragically. Suddenly, Corazon heard a sudden rush of air being sliced through. He ducked down just in time for the arrow to hit the wall of the dimly lit wall behind him. 

When Corazon looked up, his eyes narrowed at the sight of Jack Crackson fiddling with his hand crossbow behind Curly Joe. This hadn’t been a fair fight all along! Corazon should’ve known those two would stick together if it meant killing him. 

“I guess you never could beat me all by yourself!” Corazon tried to taunt, the shoulder wound was momentarily contradicting this, but whatever. 

“It’s a shame you’re not cursed like the rest of us, I would love to laugh in your face two years from now.” Jack Crackson sneered, running his long yellow nails over his arrows. Corazon bit his lip, even if he started to get the upper hand on Curly Joe there was no way it would last. Not with Jack Crackson sniping at him like that. 

Crackson started to casually load his crossbow again, but stopped when he heard something. After a moment, Corazon heard it too. It was an intense splashing, like someone had a chucked a massive cat into the water. One that was to trying to get out as fast as possible. 

Suddenly, Corazon watched a rapier point poke out of Jack Crackson’s chest, then slide out just as fast. It wasn’t it kill, just a neat in and out. But it certainly had gotten everyone’s attention. Crackson stumbled around to look at his jolly green attacker.

Dob waved. “Hey Corazon, maybe it’s a fair fight now eh?” 

Corazon smirked, and turned to the still distracted Curly Joe. Who looked more than a little betrayed by the guy he was just singing songs with. Before Joe even could put his cutlass up to protect himself, Corazon slashed him across the chest. 

It wasn’t too deep a cut, but it was a very long one across seemingly his entire torso. The sword was so sharp that Corazon initially couldn’t even see where the blade had impacted. That was, until his entire white undershirt turned red from the blood. Curly Joe grunted, and stumbled backwards a few paces.

Corazon’s arm was out to counterbalance, and his sleeves puffed out in a cool way as he posed a bit. The tip of his rapier was tinged with blood. With the arrow and now this, Curly Joe wasn’t looking so hot. 

“At least you’re bleeding actual blood and not like, black goo, or something.” Corazon smarted, twirling his sword around a bit. 

Then he found himself caught off guard. Curly Joe absolutely bull rushed Corazon, letting out a blood curdling scream as he held his cutlass out. Corazon put his sword out in front of him just soon enough to prevent being sliced in half vertically. But the impact knocked him down flat on his back. Curly Joe was standing over him and bleeding steadily. It was obvious that he wasn’t long for this world, but Corazon was hoping he wasn’t in the same boat. 

Egbert could feel something coming. He considered his instincts to be...mediocre most of the time, but this feeling was unmistakable. That might of had something to do with Merilwen’s hands shaking more and more on the surface of the water. Though still not plunging in quite yet.

Egbert was hoping she’d finish up sooner rather than later. The pirate he had wacked with his mace was back up. He was holding his bleeding head gingerly, but he had a sword in the other hand. His friend the other pirate, looked quite peeved indeed. Egbert knew if he charged either of them, the other would give him a hard poke in the side. 

That’s when Merilwen opened her eyes. 

Her hands plunged into the water unexpectedly, soaking her arms in water. This wasn’t a problem for her typically, but now the water felt...cold. Then she stood to her feet, and walked next to Egbert calmly. He looked at her expectantly, she revealed nothing. 

There was a sound of creaking wood underneath the pirates, they both looked down at the same time. After a moment, the docks were consumed by the sound of wood splintering into a thousand pieces. There was an absolutely massive Great White Shark that plunged its angular head through the dock, and it headbudded the unscathed pirate straight into the water. 

He sailed through the air, screaming in a not so masculine way before crashing down into the sea. Merilwen could hear him gasp from the sea suddenly wrapping around his body. Then she could hear the second gasp.

He yelled, and started to flail his arms wildly about. Trying to swim above the surface, he was managing to do just that, even as the sea around him started to turn red. He watched a squid hop out of the water and just barely miss his arm. Then she could see a shark just under the surface take a bite out of his leg, and just swim away. Other little fish followed his example, getting little nibbles in. Squid started attaching themselves to the pirate, who was already starting to tire.

His fatigue made sense, due to the fact that sea creatures were absolutely tearing him to pieces. It looked almost as if he was being fed into a living shredder. Slowly, Merilwen and Egbert watched his bloody pulp sink down below the surface. 

The last pirate, who was already bleeding, decided that this fight simply wasn’t worth it. He turned and ran as fast as he could away from Egbert and Merilwen, and from the water in general. Before he could get far though, a squid flew out of the water and landed right on his face. The sharp beak at the center of its tentacles started to tear apart the skin on his face, causing it to bleed even more so. 

In a blind panic, the pirate stumbled straight off the dock and into the sea. Merilwen cringed as she watched fish start to jump all over him. His screams providing a grim soundtrack to nature getting its revenge. 

Thankfully, he finally stopped. Then Merilwen heard a steady clapping behind her. Prudence was sitting in a lawn chair with a drink between her legs, smiling devilishly. With a huge amount of pride on her face. 

“Bravo Merilwen! Bravo! I knew you had it in you, with squids no less, nice touch!” Prudence said before getting up and shooting her a nod of approval. There was a genuine excite to Prudence now, she really did gain pleasure from killing. Merilwen hoped she didn’t become that way. 

“Hey, not to be rude or anything, but how long have you been sitting there and...not helping?” Merilwen asked as she glanced back to the piles of meat floating in the water. 

“Not long, I would’ve jumped in if things really went south, promise.” Prudence said before sipping of some sort of gin out of a drinking glass. 

Merilwen was about to ask if Prudence had a Pinot Noir to drink, or something that would make her relax. When both women turned to their heads towards Egbert, who had wandered closer to the door of the boathouse. “Egbert! Get in this boathouse, I can’t kill this pirate!” They heard their pirate mate yell, sounding very distressed.

“Egbert whatever you do, don’t throw anymore bombs okay buddy?” Merilwen yelled over to him, before running up next to him. When she looked inside the boathouse, it was clear things weren’t going so well for Corazon. While he clearly had wounded Curly Joe, he hadn’t been able to finish him off. Now he was rolling all over the floor trying to avoid getting stabbed to the floor. 

Egbert narrowed his eyes and threw down his mace and shield. Then he start to pull some more pamphlets out of his bag. There was a sudden to calm to him now, like he knew what he needed to do, and was ready for it.

“The bomb didn’t work so well, but I do have this whole dragon breath thing, I don’t know if I mentioned it before.” Egbert said to Corazon as he handed Merilwen one of the pamphlets. How To Connect With God Using Animals. Egbert clearly knew his audience a little bit at least. 

“You did not no, that would be useful.” Corazon called out before dodging another Curly Joe cutlass stab. Merilwen could just barely make out Dob grappling with Jack Crackson way in the back of the boathouse.

“Yeah, if I just breathe in, and like really concentrate, I can breathe out and absolutely torch somebody. I try not to do it too much because it looks really horrible and smells awful as well. But I think in the circumstances I think I should just-“

Egbert interrupted his own paladin speech with a truly massive wave of reddish orange fire. It blasted through the door and then consumed everyone’s view of Curly Joe and Corazon from view. 

Inside, Corazon jumped into a tiny corner and covered his eyes as he could hear Curly Joe scream, then nothing but the crackling of flames. He could hear the old wood pop and whine from the heat consuming it. When the heat wave died down in front of his face, Corazon was greeted by the pile of ash that was Curly Joe. When he looked further down the boathouse, there was a similar pile of ashes standing in front of Dob. Who thankfully had only been singed by the fire. 

Then Dob just turned around and leapt into the water out the back exit. Corazon could certainly see why. The flames were spreading all around the boathouse, climbing up the walls and getting ready to collapse the whole structure. Corazon felt like his precious beard was going to go up in flames, so he made a run for the front door, where his friends were waiting for him. 

However before he left, Corazon turned back around to kick the pile of ashes that was trying to kill him only a few moments ago. 

“See you in two years you fucking idiot.” Corazon taunted one last time, and sprinted straight out the door. Corazon didn’t look back until he and his friends were far away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, it’s done. I’m pretty happy about how this all turned out, even if I undoubtedly made some mistakes somewhere. That being said, I’m so damn glad it’s done. 
> 
> Earnest Hemmingway once said: “There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.” 
> 
> Well bleeding hurts jackass. Have a nice day you guys!


End file.
